For those of us with modest expectations, it is exciting enough to see British apples finally back on the shelves after months of woolly-textured imports. But Tesco clearly doesn’t think the return of the russet is enough to get us to open our wallets. Instead, it is trying to shock us into shelling out with a new hot-pink variety rejoicing in the uniquely irritating name, the Surprize (because, the company’s fruit product developer explained, “of the fantastic reaction it gets”).

Tesco says that the apples, which would gladden the heart of the late Barbara Cartland, taste as good as they look, which is at least some comfort to us fans of less glamorous, but reliably tasty varieties – after all, this wouldn’t be the first “quirky” fruit to grab the headlines, only to disappear without trace.

Anyone remember the pineberry, for example; an unnervingly pale, pineapple-flavoured strawberry stocked by Waitrose for a few short weeks back in 2010, or the same supermarket’s more recent experiment. M&S countered with the papple, a pear that looked a bit like an apple (for those pear-lovers who just want to fit in at the office) and the grango, a painfully named grape which tasted “a bit like a mango”.

The media may have swarmed like wasps to a fruit basket, but none actually seems to have taken off with consumers who would come in looking for strawberries that tasted like strawberries, or pears that didn’t sound like something you would only resort to after major dental work.

That said, there is a fine history of mucking about with the genetics of fruit. No doubt the grapefruit, a cross between the bitter pomelo and the sweet dessert orange, caused quite a stir when it first appeared in the 18th century, as did the logan and tayberry, with their dusky raspberry looks and sharp bramble flavour.

But such lasting successes are few and far between; the developers of the pluot, a cross between a plum and an apricot, or the limequat, which you can probably guess the ancestry of, have yet to see their creations strike it big with supermarkets.

Red bananas, yellow raspberries – the novelty seems to wear off as quickly as the colour of those pretty purple carrots you paid a premium for, only to find that, once peeled, they are still orange. I wish the Herefordshire farmer who developed the Surprize all the best, but I for one will be surprised if we see it again next year.

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对于对生活没有太高期望的我们来说，吃了几个月干巴巴的进口苹果后，看到英国的苹果上架已经足够让人兴奋了。但特易购公司显然认为这还不足以让我们心动。因此，特易购公司试图用一个新的花样来震惊我们——出售艳粉色的苹果。这种苹果有个奇特的、引人注目的名字——“惊喜”（公司的水果开发者解释说，这个名字取自这种苹果获得的超凡的反响）。

这种苹果可能会很得芭芭拉·卡特兰（Barbara Cartland）的欢心。特易购公司表示，这种苹果尝起来就和它的外表一样美味。这至少让我们这些不怎么重视外表但很关注味道的人放心了。毕竟，这并不是第一种上头条的“奇葩”水果了。这类水果一般很容易很快就消失无踪了。

例如，是否还有人记得菠萝莓？一种颜色苍白的、菠萝味的草莓。在2010年，维特罗斯（Waitrose）超市只库存了短短几周。还有其他超市近期更多类似的试验。

玛莎（M&S）百货公司出售过苹果梨（papple），一种看起来有点像苹果的梨（在那些只想融入办公室生活的梨爱好者看来），还有芒果葡萄，一个取名很别扭的葡萄，只是吃起来味道“有点像芒果”。

在水果相关话题上，新闻媒体蜂拥而入，各出奇招，但他们对日常的人们没有兴趣。日常的人们只想买吃起来像草莓的草莓，买一般的梨，而不是买那种听起来像在一个大的牙科手术后才会吃的东西。

据说，把水果的基因相混合有着悠久的历史。无疑，苦柚和甜橙杂交出的葡萄柚，在18世纪第一次出现时引起了很大的轰动。罗甘莓和泰莓也一样，他们有着黑色覆盆子的样貌和树莓的味道。

但这种尝试，要不就成功，要不就完全失败。杏李或莱姆金桔的开发者认为他们的“创造性”行为一定可以震撼超市。杏李是杏和李的杂交，而莱姆金桔，你可以猜到它的来源。

红色的香蕉，黄色的覆盆子，各种各样新奇的水果层出不穷。当你买了你确信是紫色的胡萝卜，结果剥掉皮才发现它们里面还是黄色的，此时这种水果颜色上的新奇感会迅速消退。我对开发出“惊喜”苹果的赫里弗郡的农民们致以良好的祝愿。如果明年我们还能看到“惊喜”苹果，那我一定会很惊讶。