1) Customer: Do you serve crabs（螃蟹） here?

Waiter: We serve anyone, sit right down.

（serve: a.招待；b. 提供，供应）

2) A: What would happen if an eye doctor came into the classroom?

B: He'd check the pupils.

（pupil: a. 瞳孔； b. 小学生）

3) Passenger: Is this my train?

Conductor: No, sir. It belongs to the railway company.

Passenger: Don't be funny. Can I take this train to New York?

Conductor: No, sir, it's much too heavy.

（take: a. 搭乘； b. 拿走）

4) Mother: Your hair needs cutting badly.

Daughter: I think it needs cutting nicely, it was cut badly last time.

（badly: a. 非常； b. 坏）

5) Customer: Waiter, I'm in a hurry. Will the girdle cakes(烙饼) be long?

Waiter: No, sir, round.

（long: a. 长时间； b. 长的）

6) A: What's the matter with your thumb (大拇指)?

B: I hit the wrong nail.

（nail: a. 指甲； b. 钉子）

7) A: I have a job in a watch factory.

B: What do you do?

A: Just stand around and make faces.

（make face: a. 制造表盘；b. 作鬼脸）

8) A: I think your son is spoiled.

B: I completely disagree with you.

A: Well, come out and see what a steam roller just did to him.

（spoil: a. 伤害； b. 宠坏）

9) Dinner: Waiter, this soup is spoiled.

Waiter: Who told you.

Dinner: A little sallow.

（swallow: a. 吞咽； b. 小燕子）

10) A: What has eighteen legs and catches flies?

B: A baseball team.

（fly: a. 苍蝇； b. 棒球中的飞球）

11) Teacher: What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?

Student: Because it never sits down to eat.

（lean: a. 倾斜； b. 瘦弱）

12) A: Which runs faster, heat or cold?

B: Heat runs faster, because you can easily catch cold.

（cold: a. 冷；b. 与catch一起表示“感冒”）

13) A: What trees does fire have no effect on?

B: Ashes.

（ashes: a. 白蜡树，桉树； b. 灰烬 ）

14) A: Why doesn’t a carpenter(木匠) believe there is a stone?

B: Because they never saw one.

（saw: a. 看见； b. 锯）

15) A: Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?

B: Because he lies on one side, then turns around and lies on the other.

（lie: a. 躺着； b. 撒谎）

16) A: Why are tall men lazy?

B: Because they lie long.

（lie long: a. 长时间睡； b. 躺下时显得长）

17) Jugde: Tell me why you parked there.

Driver: Because, Your Honor, it said “Fine for Parking”

（fine: a. 好的； b. 罚款）

18) Teacher: Tommy, you missed school yesterday, didn't you?

Tommy: Not a bit, teacher!

（miss: a. 想念； b. 错过，缺课）

19) A: My uncle kissed me.

B: How nice! Did you kiss him back, dear?

A: Of course not. I kissed his face.

（back: a. 回复； b. 后背）

20) A: Tom, you know you can't sleep in class.

B: I know, sir. But maybe I could, if you were a little quieter.

（can’t: a. 不许；b. 没法，不能）

21) A: Why did the man put wheels on his rocking chair?

B: Because he wanted to rock and roll.

（to rock and roll是跳摇滚舞。但在这儿，摇rock 的是rocking chair，滚 roll的是 wheels。这就造成了一句双关的趣味。）

22) A: At what time of day was Adam born?

B: Just before Eve.

（Eve: a. 晚间； b. 夏娃）

23) A: How many feet are in a yard?

B: It depends on how many people are standing in it.

（feet: a. 英尺； b. 脚）

24) A: What kind of man can raise things without lifting them?

B: A farmer. He can raise pigs, chickens and so on without lifting them.

（raise: a. 提高，使升高； b. 喂养）

25) A: What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?

B: The ground.

（hard: a. 难的； b. 硬的）

26) A: What's the hardest thing about learning skating?

B: The ice.

（hard: a. 难的； b. 硬的）

27) A: Why do some old people never use glasses?

B: They must like bottles very much.

（glasses: a. 眼镜； b. 玻璃杯）

28) A: Why is it useless to send a letter to Washington?

B: Because he's dead.

（Washington: a. 人名； b. 地名）

29) A: Why is an empty matchbox the best thing to have in the world？

B: Because it is matchless.

（matchless: a. 没有火柴的；b. 举世无双的）

30) A: Why did Little Tom put his brother's guitar in the refrigerator？

B: Because he enjoyed cool music.

（cool: a. 酷的； b. 冷）

31) A: What stays hot even if put in a fridge？

B: Pepper.

（hot: a. 辣的； b. 热的）

32) A: What month do soldiers hate?

B: March

（March: a. 三月； b. 行军）

33) A: Why is an empty purse always the same?

B: Because there is no change in it.

（change: a. 零钱； b. 变化）

34) A: What book has the most stirring chapters?

B: A cook book.

（stirring: a. 动人的； b. 搅拌的）

35) A: What kind of water should people drink in order to be healthy?

B: Drink well water.

（well: a. 井水； b. 健康的）

36) A: How do we know the ocean is friendly?

B: It waves.

（wave: a. 起波浪； b. 招手致意）

37) A: Why is the library the highest building?

B: It has the most stories.

（story: a. 故事； b. 楼层）

38) A: What do lawyers do when they die？

B: Lie still.

（lie still: a. 静静地躺着； b. 仍然撒谎）

39) A: What’s the difference between the North Pole and the South Pole?

B: The whole world.

（difference: a. 不同； b. 差距）

40) A: What is the difference between the rising and setting sun?

B: A day.

（difference: a. 不同； b. 差距）