If there's one thing Johanna Rothman knows, it's the corrosiveeffects of jealousy. At 30, the author of "Behind Closed Doors: Secrets of Great Management" was incensedwhen a coworker got a job she wanted. Later, when she took a job managing former peers, she felt their jealousy in curt, backhanded compliments.

有一件事情是Johanna Rothman非常清楚的，那就是嫉妒所产生的危害性。Johanna Rothman 是"关起门来：成功管理的秘密"一书的作者，在其30岁的时候，一个同事得到了她梦寐以求的职位，她很愤怒。稍后，当她升职，开始管理以前的同行时，她感到了他们讥讽的恭维中所包含的嫉妒。

"If you can admit you're jealous, you can start dealing with it," says Rothman. "If you don't, jealousy can poison your relationships."

Rothman说："如果你肯承认自己是在嫉妒，那么你就可以处理好自己的嫉妒。若你没有及时处理好你的嫉妒情绪，它会毒害你的人际关系。"

Jealousy can also poison your career by distracting you from your job and forcing you into constant comparisons that leave you demoralized, she says.

她还说："嫉妒也会让你无心工作，只专注于和别人攀比，最后在自卑中一蹶不振，毁了你的职业生涯。"

Want to curbyour or others' jealousy while keeping your eye on your goals? Consider these tips:

想要在专注于自己的人生目标的同时，化解掉自己的或别人的嫉妒，参考下面的小贴士吧：

If you're jealous:

如果是自己在嫉妒：

1. Track your accomplishments

记录你的成就

"Do a month-by-month resume" for the past year, Rothman advises. "When I did this, I saw that there was a real theme: It was all about the project and nothing about the people. It was clear I really wasn't ready to be a manager."

"将你过去的成绩按月份做出一份摘要。" Rothman建议说："当我这样做的时候，我看到在过去的一年里，我做的事情都是只与项目有关，而与人没任何关系，这份摘要清楚的告诉我，我真的还不适合当一名经理。"

2. Talk to your boss

与你的上司谈谈

Bring your monthly resume to your boss; show him your skills and ask why you didn't get the promotion, says Rothman. Be clear that you're doing this because you want the promotion or raise next time.

将你做的每月摘要表拿给你的上司看看，向他展示你的才能，问他为什么你还没得到提升。不过你要知道，你这样做是因为你想获得下次的升职机会。

"My boss had no idea how productive I'd been," she recalls. "I learned to keep updating my resume and to inform my boss of what was going on regularly. In a few months, a bigger job opened up and I got it. My boss realized I was perfect for it."

"我的上司不知道我工作多么有效率"她回忆说："我后来学会了持续更新我的履历表，并让我上司定期知道我做了些什么事情。几个月后，有一份很重要的工作，因为我的上司终于认识到我才是最适合的人选，所以我得到了这个工作机会。"

3. Develop your skills

发展你的才能

Ask the person you envy how she learned to do what she does, and beef up your skill set. Then it's not about her anymore -- it's about developing your career.

向你嫉妒的人虚心请教，问他们是如何做到这样的成就的，然后拓展你的技能。那么接下来的事情就和她无关了，就是你需要如何拓展自己的职业技能了。

"It turns out my new boss was the best manager I'd ever had," says Rothman. "But if I admitted, 'Look, Johanna, you're jealous,' I wouldn't have been able to work with her."

Rothman说："结果证明我的新上司是我遇到过的最好的经理，但是如果我承认自己是在嫉妒她的话，我就不能和她一起共事。"

1.Save the brag-athon for after work

不要在工作之余炫耀

"It's often not the closer relationships with bosses, the promotions, or the raises that create hostility," explains Tina Lewis Rowe, a career coach in Denver. "It's the way the employee with good fortune handles it."

丹弗的职业教练Tina Lewis Rowe说："通常引起同事之间敌意的不是员工与上司的亲密关系，提升或者表扬，而是有大好发展前程的员工处理这些时的方法。"

Don't name-drop the CEO you had lunch with, mention the conference you're attending or talk excitedly about your new job or salary with less-fortunate coworkers. "Even a saint would have trouble smiling and being happy for someone in those circumstances," she says.

她说："不要总是向同事炫耀你与执行总裁吃过饭，以此来自抬身价，也不要总是和没你那么幸运的同事提及你参加过的会议，兴奋的向他诉说你的新工作或薪水，即使他是个圣人，在这种情况下他也很难笑着为你祝贺。"

2.Don't apologize.

不要道歉

It's natural to feel humbled by a wonderful career development, but those who didn't get the raise don't want to hear how undeserving you feel, said Lewis Rowe. Chances are, they might agree.

Lewis Rowe说，

人在职业发展的辉煌时期会感到受宠若惊是很自然的事情，但是没有得到这个发展机会的人并不想听到你说你觉得自己担当不起这个大任。虽然他们可能会觉得你确实不配得到这样的机会。

3.De-escalatetension.

缓和紧张的局势

If you're a new manager for former peers, encourage your new staff's strengths.

如果你刚刚升职当上了经理，要管理你以前的同事，那么你就要多表扬他们的优点。

"You need to know what to do to make all the people （in your department） stars," she says. "I was always finding the most successful people and promoting them out from underneath me. That's an accomplishment that the employee and the manager can agree they did together."

"作为一个经理，你需要知道怎么做才能让你所有的手下觉得他们都是明星。"她说："我总是发掘最成功的人才，并给他们升职，让他们超越我。这样做可以取得经理和职员双赢的成就。"