Here are some general pointers on how to be a more friendly, social person. A quickie definition of 'friendly' would be being nice to, and interested in, other people. I'd define 'social' as spending a fair amount of time with other people and enjoying it.

The advice below talks about specific actions and overall dispositions （e.g., be positive about people, be interested in others） at the same time. The two are connected, but you don't have a ton of control over your disposition towards other people. If you're not in an outgoing, chatty mood at the moment, or if you're more reserved in general, that's just the way you are. You can't flip a switch and feel warm and loving towards everyone instantly. However, you can still keep some of the specific actions in mind, and they may be all you actually need. For example, if you're at work and you find you're keeping to yourself that day, you can remind yourself that you should go join your coworkers and see what they're up to.

Also, the ideas here don't suggest that you need to turn into a phony, or a needy suck up, or an over the top caricature of a 'friendly' person. They should be thought of more as background attitudes that subtlety influence how you approach interactions with other people. A serious macho guy and a more affable, breezy type could use the same basic concepts and still maintain their own personality styles. Be fairly low key about implementing the points below.

Start conversations with new people

If you've recently been introduced to someone, or you see some new people around, go up to them and start a conversation. Even saying hi, asking for their name, and going, "Cool, nice meeting you. I'll see you around later hopefully" can be good.

Chat back to people who try to talk to you

Have you ever tried making pleasant conversation with someone you've run into, and they blew you off by giving one word responses and obviously looking like they don't want to be spoken too? You probably walked away thinking they were pretty unfriendly, even if you intellectually knew they may have had a reason for being brusque. If someone is trying to chat with you, make an effort to give them something back in return.

Take time to talk to people you already know

If you see someone you know, then go over and see what's going on with them. No real reason, just because. Catch up with what they've been up to lately, or just talk about whatever. Keep in touch with your friends. Stop and chat to your coworkers when they're not too busy. Maintain your relationships and show you're interested in the other people. If you see someone you know, don't avoid them because you don't feel like talking, or pretend not to notice them because you're worried the conversation will be stilted. Go up to them and chit chat for a few minutes.

Invite people to do things with you/the group

Be fairly loose and generous with your invitations to people. Be the one to invite people out rather than waiting for them to come to you first. Don't feel you have to know someone for a long time either. If you seem to get along with them then why not ask them to do something? If you like your new coworker or classmate, ask them if they want to grab a drink later, or come by your place to chill. If you run into a friend downtown, and neither of you is doing anything, ask if they want to grab a bite to eat, or if one of you is busy, suggest you get together later some time. Ask the new guy in your apartment if he wants to play pool down the street in an hour or so. Don't feel you have to know someone for a predesignated amount of time before you can hang out with them.

If everyone at work is going out on Friday evening then ask anyone who may not know if they want to come along as well. If you're meeting some friends later that night, ask your new acquaintance if he wants to join you. If you run into a buddy on the street for five seconds, tell him that you're going to be a Dan's place later if he wants to drop by. Of course, when you throw invitations out like this, they won't always be accepted, but that's cool.

Make an effort to bring new people into the fold and make them feel included

If you're out with your longtime friends and there's a new person there, take the time to talk to them a bit, rather than being more aloof and expecting them to make the effort of getting to know you. At the end of the night mention that everyone is seeing a certain concert in the next two weeks if they want to come. If there's a new person at work, fill them in on the general goings on, and let them know everyone in your department usually grabs lunch together at 12:30. Mention that you and three other people usually play football on Thursday evenings if they want to join in.

Go to where the people are

If you're at work and everyone is going out for lunch then go as well. If they all eat lunch at a certain time and place, then eat lunch then too. If you're at a party and everyone is talking on the front porch, go join them. If you're at a bar and everyone is hanging around on the couches downstairs, then you may as well be there too. Show you want to spend time with the people you came with. And once you're there, join in whatever they're doing. Don't hang back and get lost in your head.

Spend more time with people

Spend time with people more often. Spend time with them longer. Spend time with more of them. If when you normally see your friends, you leave after a few hours, try spending all day with them. If you only see your friends once or twice a week, try seeing them three times. If you usually keep to yourself at work, and only talk to people on break, try spending time with your coworkers a little more during the workday. If you only see some acquaintances of yours under specific circumstances （e.g., in particular class, at a club）, then try to see them outside of that situation. This is all assuming the people you know would be glad to spend more time with you, but if you prefer your own company like I often do, you probably underestimate the amount of time 'regular' people like to spend with each other. It can also be an interesting experience to resist your urge to go home, spend several more hours with people past your usual tolerance, and realize you actually kind of prefer it to being home alone with not enough to do.

Make nice little gestures towards other people

Buy someone a drink or a shot. Offer to pay for your friend's meal if you're grabbing some snacks at a pub. Hold the door for someone. Bring food or drinks to a party when it wasn't expected that you do so. Do these things occasionally as a friendly gesture to someone you already like. Don't do it as a way to buy people's affection or make them obligated to you to return a favor at a later time. If you do these things too much you can get taken for granted, taken advantage of, look like you're trying too hard to please everyone and make them like you, and put other people in an awkward situation because they feel uncomfortable taking so many free handouts.

Offer compliments to people

Don't be afraid to be positive and encouraging towards other people. If someone is good at something then tell them so. If someone looks nice, or is well dressed, then say you think so. If you think someone is funny, or a cool person, then let them know. Again, moderation is the key. The occasional genuine compliment is way better than a constant stream of try-hard ones.

Be reasonably polite

Whatever it means to the company you find yourself with, be fairly polite to everyone. If someone does something nice, or goes out of their way for you, then thank them. Ask nicely if you're asking someone for something. Don't be an unnecessarily abrasive, self-centered, and unappreciative. You don't have to be excessive, or be stuffy and proper, but be considerate.

Make sure everyone is having a good time when you're out

Without overdoing it and being a pest, put some energy into making sure everyone is having fun when you're out in a group. If someone seems left out of the conversation, try to maneuver it to a topic they can contribute to. Or if someone seems like they want to say something, but they can't get a word into a lively discussion, casually indicate to everyone that they want to talk. If you're doing an activity that someone doesn't seem comfortable with, try to coax them to join in （if it's harmless and you know they'll have fun once they start）, or take some time to explain the basics to them if they aren't familiar with how to do it. If someone seems bored, or annoyed, see if you can get them to have fun somehow.

Be interested in what other people have to say

This is one of those easier-said-than-done dispositions. Sometimes, for whatever reason, you're not in the mood and you genuinely don't care about what certain people have to say. Still, when you are interested in other people you'll naturally be more friendly towards them. One thing I consistently find is that everyone has at least something interesting about them, it may just not be readily apparent. Like you may see a guy and assume he's pretty generic, but it turns out he was a professional table tennis player for a few years, and that he's worked as a 3D artist on some major movies. You never really know about these things.

Genuinely like other people

Also easier said than done, but if you have this attitude the other points will tend to flow out of it.

Overall, having a friendly disposition or attitude is great if you have it, but you can't consistently create one on demand. You can keep certain actions in mind though to still be a more friendly person. Just inviting people out more, remembering to chat to people when you see them around, or joining groups, even if nothing changes about you deep down, are still the behaviors of a sociable person. You'll come across that way more, your social life will probably get a boost, and eventually, through a slightly convoluted process, your mind may come to follow your actions.

下面是如何成为友好和交际广的人的几点指针。对"友好"的简单定义是"和蔼的，以他人为重"的。我把"好交际"定义为与朋友度过相当一部分时间，并以此为乐趣。

下面的意见谈论具体行动以及所带有的总体性情（例如，待人积极，以他人为重）.它们两者

是有联系的，你不能有效控制你对他人的性情。如果你那时没有一个外向，善谈的心情，或者以你的更保守的方式。你不可能翻转开关就立刻感到对每个人的温暖和爱心。但是，您仍然可以铭记一些具体行动，他们可能是你的实际需要的。例如，如果你在工作并且发现你那天离群独居，你该提醒自己加入到同事中去看看他们都在忙些什么。

此外，这里的想法并不表明你需要变成一个虚伪的，一个拍马屁的人，或者一个讽刺漫画上的所谓友好人士。他们应该想到更多的作为背景态度微妙的方式影响你如何与其他人互动。一个严肃的马乔家伙和更和蔼可亲，活泼的类型可以使用相同的基本概念，并仍然保持其自己的个性风格。关于执行以下几点，要相当低调。

开始与新的人交谈

如果你最近被介绍给某人，或者你看到周围某个不熟悉的人，走向他们并开始交谈。即使是打招呼，问他们的名字，并说："很高兴见到你，以后的日子里你会一切都好。

尝试与他人交谈

你曾经试图和你碰到的人聊天愉快，他们却漫不经心地答复，很显然他们也不想被问及的情况吗？你可能认为他们不友好就走开了，即使你理智上知道他们可能另有原因。如果有人试图与您交谈时，你应该尽量给他们一些答复。

花时间与你 已经认识的人交谈

如果你看到认识的人，走近他们去看他们在做些什么。没有真正的原因只是应该那样做。看他们最近都忙些什么，或只是随便谈谈。与您的朋友保持联系。当你的同事不太忙时，停下手中的活与他们交谈。保持你的那些社交关系并表现出你对他人感兴趣。如果你看到认识的人，不要因为不想说话或因为害怕谈话不自然假装没看到他们而避开他们。走上前去简单地交谈几分钟。

邀请其他人与你/组一起做事情

对你邀请的人要宽松和慷慨。做一个邀请他人而不是等待别人先走向你。也不要觉得你应该了解某人很长时间。你似乎与他们相处地不错，那么为什么不问问他们做了什么？如果您喜欢新的同事或同学， 问他们是否在喝完饮料后，到你的住所去凉爽片刻。

如果你在市中心遇到一个朋友，无论你在做什么，问他们是否想吃些东西，或者你们其中一个暂时很忙，你们可以以后找时间聚一聚。 如果你的新伙伴愿意在街区玩一个小时左右的水球，邀请他们到你的公寓来。不要认为你在与他们相处之前必须提前了解他们。

如果每个人只是星期五晚上才出去，那么问任何你能不认识的人是否愿意也一同前往。如果你在那天晚些时候遇到了某个朋友，问你的新伙伴是否愿意一同去。如果你在街上遇到一个好朋友，告诉他们你过后要去丹广场看他们是否也愿去拜访。当然，当你发出了这样的邀请，他们不会总是同意，但也会很不错的。

尽力把新朋友带入你的世界，让他们感到自己没被遗忘。

如果你和一个交情不错的朋友外出并且有一个新朋友在场，和他们多多交谈而不是冷落他们期望他们试着去了解你。那天晚上结束时如果他们愿意将会在两周后听一场音乐会。如果工作中有了新同事，让他们熟悉正常的工作，并让他们知道你们部门的人通常在12:30共进午餐。也应该告诉他们您和其他三人通常在星期四晚上踢足球，看他们是否想加入。

到人多的地方去

如果你在工作，而其他人要出去吃饭，那么你也应一同前去。如果他们吃午饭都在一定的时间和地点，那么你也应该在那里。如果你参加一个聚会，加入到门廊的谈话中去。如果你在酒吧，而其他人都在楼下的沙发上，那么你最好也去那。对你的同伴要表现出你愿意与他们相处。一旦你在场，参与任何他们的活动。不要犹豫和迷茫。

花更多的时间与人交往

经常花时间与人交往，花长时间与人交往。花时间与更多的人交往。如果当您经常看到你的朋友，你离开后几个小时，试图整天与他们在一起。 如果你只看到你的朋友一次或每周两次，你要试图将看见他们3次。如果您通常保持自己在工作中，只有跟人交谈才止，你要尝试花时间与您的同事多一点在工作。如果你只在特定情况下看到一些熟人（例如，在惧乐部这样特定的场合 ）,那么尝试在外面看到他们的这种状况。这是假设你认识的人将很乐意花更多的时间与你在一起，但是如果你像我一样喜欢和自己的同伴在一起，你可能低估了你们通常在一起的的时间。它也可以是一个有趣的经历抵制你回家的冲动，花更多的时间与超出你通常忍耐力的人在一起，实现你通常在家参与不够的事情。

以好的姿态示人

为某人买一杯饮料或威士忌。提供支付你的朋友的膳食如果你酒吧抢占了一些零食。随时等待他的到来。当你并不被期望那样做时，带着饮料和食物去参加晚会。偶尔做这些事情会作为一个友好的姿态给你已经心仪的人。不要用这种方法以此来购买人的感情，或使他们必须在未来某时给你以回报。如果你做这些事情太多你可以认为是理所当然的，想获取一定的利益，好象你很难去迎合每个人使他们喜欢你。因为他们感到不舒服有如此多的免费施舍，而把他人放入一个尴尬的境地。

赞美他人

不要害怕以积极的鼓舞的态度对待他人。如果有人擅长某方面如实告诉他们如果有人看上去不错，或者是打扮地漂亮，你也应当赞同。如果你认为有人搞笑，或酷的人，然后让他们知道。再次，适度是关键。不时真正的恭维方式优于一贯的尝试僵硬的

方法。

适当礼貌

无论对你的同伴意味着什么，要相当有礼貌的对每一个人。如果有人做了好事或是谦让着你，你要向他们表示感谢。向人借东西时要友好。不要生硬粗暴，以自我为中心，不赏识他人。不要太过分，或固步自封，而应体谅他人。

当你外出时确保每个人都具有良好的时间

做事不要过度惹人讨厌，当你外出时要花精力确保每个人都玩得开心。如果有人似乎排除在交谈中，试图操纵它的主题使他们可以参与。或如果有人好像他们想说点什么，但他们不能在热烈的讨论中插一句话。如果有人不适应你正参与的活动，尽力劝他们加入。如果他们不熟悉怎样做花一些时间来向他们解释一些的基础的东西。如果有人似乎无聊，或懊恼，看看你是否可以让他们玩得开心。

听听其他人怎么说

这是说比做做简单的行为。有时，无论出于何种原因，你没有心情并且一点不在乎某些人说的话。不过，当你有兴趣的其他人，你自然会更友好地对待他们。一件事我一直寻找的是，每个人都至少有一些有趣的事，可能只是不很明显。像你可能会看到一个人，并认为他非常一般，但事实证明他是一个多年专业的乒乓球选手，并且他做为三维艺术家参与过一些重大的电影。你永远不知道这些事情。

真正喜欢其他人

又谈何容易，但如果你有这种态度的其他各点往往会跟随而来。

总体而言，如果你有一个友好的行为或态度是伟大的，但你不可能当即创造一个。你可以保持一定的行动，仍然是一个更加友好的人。只是邀请更多的人聊天时，记住你何时看到他们，或加入的团体，即使没有任何改变你的内心深处，仍然是一种交际行为的人。你将遇到这样更多的事，你的社会生活中可能会得到提升，并最终通过一个稍微错综复杂的过程，您的想法可能会与你的行动一致。