Like Yourself More

Recently I turned to a friend who was riding in my car and asked her, "What do you like about yourself?" We rode in silence for several minutes. Finally, she turned to me and said, apologetically, "I can't think of anything."

I was stunned. My friend is intelligent, charming, and compassionate – yet she couldn't see any of that.

I know she's not alone. Low self-esteem has become the number-one issue plaguing women. Despite God's assurance that he's absolutely crazy about us, most of us can't believe he means us. It's like the cynical editor who tells the cub reporter, "If your mother says she loves you, check it out."

I was a reporter for 12 years. One of the first things I learned in researching a story was "garbage in, garbage out." If your raw date is flawed, you end up with a faulty conclusion. The same is true with how we see ourselves. If we lack self-confidence, maybe we're working with flawed data.

The reality is, in hundreds of subtle ways, our culture, family, friends – even our thought life – conspire to undermine our confidence. We grow up in families void of affirmation, encouragement, and respect – the building blocks to self-confidence. Then we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of a world that lionizes Size Two Hollywood starlets and Barbie-doll figures. Our paycheck, our title, or some other artificial yardstick gives us temporary entrée into the world of The Accepted. But in our hearts, we know it isn't real. How do we find our way to the truth?

最近， 我问坐在我车里的一位朋友： "你喜欢自己什么？" 沉默了好几分钟后， 她转向我， 满脸歉意地说： "我想不出来。"

我十分诧异， 她竟然看不到自己的任何优点。 她是一个多么聪明， 美丽迷人而又富有同情心的姑娘啊！！！

我深知并非只有她一人如此， 自尊心较低已成为女性最大的困扰。 尽管上帝保证深爱着我们， 但我们大多数人不能相信他说的"我们". 就像愤世嫉俗的编辑对初出茅庐的记者说： "如果你妈妈说她爱你， 那就去确认一下吧。"

我已经做了12年的记者， 在采访中我首先学到的是 "错进， 错出". 若你的初始资料有误， 那么你的结论也不会正确。 同理， 我们看待自己也是如此。 如果我们缺乏自信心， 那也是在操作有错误的数据资料。

事实上， 通过许多种微妙的方式， 我们的信心被文化， 家庭， 朋友甚至是精神生活共同削弱。 我们成长的家庭缺乏肯定， 鼓励和尊重， 而这些正是建立自信的基石。 于是， 我们发现， 自己所处的世界推崇好莱坞二流明星和芭比娃娃的形象。 我们的薪水， 头衔或者其他人为的标准让我们临时步入所谓的上流社会。 但是， 在内心深处， 我们知道它并不真实， 那通往真实的道路到底在哪里呢？