Have you ever been in a situation in life where you weren't happy with where you were at – but you somehow couldn't get up the motivation to change? I don't mean cases where there are good reasons （such as financial ones） to hold back from change, but when there's not really anything stopping you except yourself.

Here are a few, very very common, examples of where you might be stuck.

* You smoke. You want to quit for the sake of your health and your wallet, but every morning, you light up before breakfast.

* You're currently in college, and you know you'd perform better if only you could get up earlier … but despite repeated resolutions, you rarely make it out of bed before noon.

* You're a hundred pounds overweight. You'd love to be thinner – with more energy and more choices of where to buy clothes – but your diets never last past Monday.

* You've had the same, dull, "temporary" job since you got out of college. You know you'll never enjoy it or get any further with it, but every time you think about moving on, you feel paralysed

* You know you drink too much – but you can't face the thought of a weekend without alcohol.

The difficulty is that, in almost any situation, there's some good stuff （even when it comes at a cost）. However fed up you are about your smoking, your weight or your job, there are reasons why you've not yet done anything about it – and if you're ever going to change, you need to consider and confront these reasons.

As you read on, I'd like you to have in mind a situation in your own life where you want to change but can't seem to ever get around to it. Maybe you want to start your own business, improve your health, leave an unfulfilling relationship, or learn something new. Think about this as you read the next few paragraphs, and consider how they might apply to your specific circumstances.

Ask Yourself … What's Good About My Current Situation?

A crucial question to ask – and to answer honestly – is "what's good about my current situation"? Don't dismiss this by saying "nothing", because there always will be something, even if it's simply the comfort and familiarity of routine. In many cases, the pull will be much stronger.

Don't dismiss "stupid" reasons, too. These are often the unacknowledged ones which we need to recognize in order to move beyond them.

To make this a bit clearer, I'll take the example of someone who's currently overweight. The "good stuff" about the current situation could include:

* Being able to eat favourite foods like candy and chips

* Having a wardrobe of clothes that fits （losing weight would mean buying clothes in a different size）

* Fitting in with friends and family who are also overweight

* Sticking to a comfortable routine with grocery shopping and meals

* Having an identity based on being "big" （perhaps more common for men）

* Not having to worry about being an object of sexual desire （probably more common for women）

* Not needing to find time and energy to exercise

Some of these reasons might seem a bit silly or odd – but they're all reasons why people can find themselves struggling to even get started on a diet.

If you want to dig into the reasons behind your own reluctance to change, you might find that some of these help:

Talk to a Friend or Coach

Talking your situation through with a trusted friend can help, as simply putting things into words can get you thinking about them. A coach （or even a therapist） will have the training and skills to help you uncover motivations and blocks that could go back a long way.

Ask Yourself Questions

If you don't have anyone who you can confide in, try talking to yourself! Some powerful questions to explore why you haven't changed yet include:

* What do I enjoy about （smoking/my weight/my job）? Note: this may be where reasons that you label as "silly" or insignificant come in, like "I enjoy having an excuse to take a break from work for a cigarette". Don't ignore these!

* How would my day or week be different if I did successfully implement this change? Be as specific as possible here.

* What would I have to give up from my current life?

Journal About It

As a writer, I find that working through my thoughts with pen and paper （or keyboard and screen） is a great way to clarify how I'm feeling. It's also a good way to focus, if you often find your thoughts wandering when you try to simply think through a situation.

Give yourself at least fifteen minutes to sit down, with no distractions, and write some answers to the questions above – or simply brainstorm around the topic of "quitting smoking" or "leaving my job" etc.

My feeling is that we often underestimate or ignore the mental barriers that we have towards change. It's easy to find external circumstances （like finances, family, lack of necessary qualifications） that are holding us back, but hard to pin-point these internal ones. If you've experienced times where the "good stuff" in an otherwise bad situation was holding you back from change, or if you're going through something like that at the moment, it would be fantastic to hear your own experiences in the comments.

About the author: Ali is a postgraduate student and professional writer. She runs Alpha Student （grab the RSS feed）, a blog which aims to help students get the most of their time at university.

你是否对现在的处境颇为不满，整天郁郁寡欢却无力改变？我不是说那些阻止你改变的好的方面（比如资金等）,事实上，阻挡你的拦路虎正是你自己。

以下是可能让你裹足不前的再普通不过的例子：

* 你抽烟。为了健康和省钱起见，你想戒烟。但是每天早起之后还是在饭前不自觉的点上一根。

* 你现在在大学求学，你也知道只要早起的话一定会给功课和表现加分… 但是，说了无数遍的豪言壮语后，你还是照睡到日上三竿。

* 你可能有些体重问题，想变的苗条些 - 这样人看起来精神，买衣服也不用愁。但，节食计划总不能幸存到周一。

* 毕业后，一直从事一成不变的工作，你知道这工作永远也让你提不起兴趣，再这样下去根本没有前途可言，但是当你真的想更上一层楼时却又缺乏动力。

* 你知道自己酗酒不好，但是却无法想象要是没有酒精的陪伴，那周末是多么的可怕。

所有的情形中的症结就是，你可以从中得到好处。（即使这样的"好处"是要付出代价的）尽管你的嗜烟问题，你的体重和工作困扰着你，但这其中总有让你对这些问题束手无策的原因 - 如果你一旦想做出改变，那么你必须考虑并且面对这些原因。

接下来，我想让你设想这样的情境 - 你想做出一定的改变，但似乎又无法达到。或许你想自主创业，变得更健康，从一段空虚的感情中解脱，或学一些新知识。好了，在继续往下看这篇文章的时候，脑子里想象这样的情景，并且想想如何用它们来解决你的问题。

自问…我现在的状况有什么好的？

这是个至关重要的问题 - 问问自己，然后老实的回答 - "我的现状有什么好的？"不要用"没什么"这样的话来搪塞，因为总有些好的方面，即使它们简单又老套。多数情况下，内因是很强大的。

也别想些"愚蠢"的原因来。因为这些原因我们并不熟悉，还得花时间来重新认识它们，才能得以超越。

为了说的明白些，我就举一些有体重问题人士的例子吧。在现在的情形下，个中的好处有：

* 可以享受喜爱的食物如糖果和薯片

* 有一衣柜合身的衣服（如果减肥了就得重新置办新衣）

* 与身处同样情况的（超重）家人或朋友看起来很合拍

* 在现在的购物习惯和饮食中如鱼得水

* 已经有了大块头的身份（多用于男性）

* 不用担心自己成为让人动邪念的对象（多用于女性）

* 不用费心安排时间锻炼

这些原因可能有些傻或者奇怪，但这确是让人安于现状，在节食上挣扎，久久瘦不下来的原因。

如果你想挖掘出自己懒于改变的原因，那么下面的几点或许有帮助：

和朋友或教练谈话

跟一个可信赖的朋友说说自己的情况，把事情说出来会帮助你思考。一个有训练经验和技能的教练（或医师）也能帮你找出动因以及妨碍你前进的绊脚石。

问自己问题

如果你找不到人倾诉，那就问自己问题。以下是几个有效的问题，能帮你找出安于现状的原因：

* 我从（抽烟/超重/无聊的工作）中享受到的是什么？ 注意：这些原因可能就是你认为"蠢的"或不上台面的原因，像"我可以借口抽烟在工作的时候偷点闲".千万别忽视这样的原因。

* 如果我能改变一天或一周，会有怎样的不同？此处，要想出具体的情况，越详细越好。

* 如果改变了，我将从现在的生活中失去什么？

有感

作为作者，我觉得通过纸笔（或键盘和显示器）把思想表达出来能让我知悉自己的感觉。同样，当你思考思想活跃时，这也是集中精力的好办法。

给自己留出至少十五分钟的时间，静静的坐下来，别分心，把上述问题的答案写下来 - 或仅仅是畅想关于"戒烟"或"跳槽"的话题。

我的感觉是人们通常低估或忽略妨碍他们做出改变的精神因素，但却很容易找出阻碍他们的外界因素（比如，资金，家庭，缺少资历等）.如果你曾一度醉心那些所谓的"好处",并且正是它们让你难以做出改变，或者你曾经试图克服类似艰难的时期，那么欢迎与大家分享。