It's the middle of August. School is just around the corner.

Not for me, of course. I've been out of school so long I hardly remember ever going. But for millions of kids, reading and writing and 'rithmetic are soon to be part of daily life once again. Along with homework. That is, if kids do homework anymore.

There's a book out this week, Homework for Grown-Ups: Everything You Learned at School and Promptly Forgot. It's sort of a CliffsNotes on everything we once knew but no longer do.

There are chapters on English, math, history, science. There's even a quiz at the end of each chapter.

To be honest, I don't get it. One of the few good things about being an adult is that you don't have homework anymore.

I remember doing hours of it every night in high school - Latin translation alone took a couple of hours - and I really have little desire to return to the world of Caesar and Cicero. That's Kickero, by the way.

I also remember there were courses in high school that I knew I would never, ever, ever use once I finished the homework and grew up. Trigonometry was one. Chemistry was the other.

The day I walked out of both classes was the day I promptly forgot everything I had learned that year. I felt cleansed. Liberated. Free at last.

And some 40 years later, I have yet to use anything I was taught in those courses.

I'm sure the periodic table of elements still hangs on the wall of every science classroom in America, and I'm sure all those elements are still in their proper places. Good for them.

Just leave me out of it.

I went abroad as an exchange student just before the final exam in chemistry was given. My teacher confessed he thought my timing was perfect. So did I.

As for triangles, unless we're talking about love, I still have no interest in them whatsoever.

In all my years I have never once attended a cocktail party where the conversation turned to the Pythagorean theorem. Maybe I'm running in the wrong circles. Then again, maybe I'm running in the right circles.

The press material that came with this book says that using it will allow me to hold my "head high with pride" when I'm next asked to help with homework.

We have several kids in our neighborhood. They ask me to feed their fish, to give money to their fundraisers, to go to their lacrosse games and cheer them on. And I do.

But if the conversation ever turns to their homework, I always use the same three little words.

Ask your father.

已经是八月中旬了，很快就要开学了。

当然，不是说我。我已经离开学校很久了，甚至有些不记得自己曾经上过学了。但是，对于数百万的孩子们来说，读书、写字和做算术将很快再次成为他们日常生活的一部分。更确切地说，假如孩子们还做作业的话。

这星期出了本书，名叫《成年人的家庭作业：学校里所学的一切与迅速的遗忘》。有点像克利夫笔记所说：我们曾知的一切，如今再不能记起。

英语、数学、历史、科学的章节我们都曾学过，甚至在每一章节最后还曾做过小测验。

老实说，我是不懂。长大成人的少量的几个好处之一是，你再也不用做家庭作业了。

记得我曾经连续几小时忙着做家庭作业--高中时每晚必做--仅仅是拉丁语翻译就要花两三个小时--我真的没什么兴趣回到凯撒和西塞罗的世界里去。顺便说一下，那是Kickero（指西塞罗的英文）.

还记得，我上高中时就清楚，有些课程在我做完作业后，在我长大成人后，将永远也不会用到一次。三角是一个，化学是另一个。

我走出那两个课堂的那天，就是我迅速忘记那年我所学的一切的一天。我觉得干净了，解放了，终于自由了。

四十多年后，我还是从未用过那些课程所教过的任何知识。

我肯定，化学元素周期表肯定还挂在美国每一间科学教室的墙上，我还确定，所有那些元素依旧在他们该在的位置上。这对他们来说挺好。

让我远离他们吧。

化学期终测验之前，我作为一名交换学生去了国外，老师说他觉得我时间拿捏得真准。同感。

说道三角，除了谈及恋爱时外，我至今都无论如何无法对他们产生兴趣。

活了这些年，我还从来没有参加过一场讨论勾股定理的鸡尾酒会。也许我生活的圈子不对吧，不过，或许我生活的圈子是对的呢。

这本书上说，有了它，下次再有人请我辅导家庭作业时，我就能够"自豪地高昂着头".

四邻有几个小孩子，他们请我帮他们喂鱼，赞他们募捐，跟他们玩长曲棍球游戏，逗他们开心，我乐意。

不过一旦谈话涉及他们的家庭作业，我总是用这三个字答复：问你爸。