Use these excuses as freely and as loosely as you want.

1. Great Aspirations
When I grow up, I don’t want to be the President, an astronaut or even a hairdresser. I want to be a homeless street beggar. As far as I know, I don’t need any qualifications for this, except maybe a strange disgusting smell. My life is planned and set.

2. I Am a Pirate
Arrgh, ye black tongued powder monkey! If ye be trying to make me do homework, I’ll sooner dance the hempen jig and see you to Davy Jones! And . . . um . . . arrgh!

3. Intelligent + Awesome = Government Property
I’m sorry that I couldn’t hand in my homework today, but it’s because the government has decided my intelligence is too high for a normal school. They are preparing a testing area for me, but until then, I’m not allowed to use my awesome intelligence for anything.

4. Homework or Punctuality
I was going to do it before coming to school, but then I realized I was late. So it was either being at school or handing in homework, and I so enjoy your company, Ms. Wilson. Fine, I’ll go to the Principal’s office.

5. I Am a Ninja
Hear that voice? That’s me behind you with a katana at your throat. Don’t turn around. I’m only going to say this once. Ninjas don’t do homework. That is all. Away! Crap, I tripped. Cloak of Shadows! Yes, I know that I’m hiding behind your curtains. Yes, Ms. Wilson, I’ll hand it in tomorrow. So close . . .

6. A Pet Problem
My Tamagotchi ate it.

7. I Am a Secret Pirate Ninja Robot Spy
Secret Pirate Ninja Robot Spies are incapable of homework. Homework makes me volatile and dangerous and I might explode with awesome secret pirate ninja robo force.

8. Great, Great, Great and Grand
When my great, great, great grandmother was freed from slavery, she vowed she would never work for someone else again. I intend to honour and preserve her greatness by following in her footsteps and thus I’ll not be doing homework.

9. Procrastinate Forever
Sorry, Ms. Wilson, I can’t hand in my homework. I used diversion tactics and avoided you to put off handing in the homework for so long that I’ve finished school, got a job, and married your daughter. What? You’ll be visiting us everyday? I’ll just go get started on 4 years of homework...

10. Lastly,
I have a lightsaber. Don’t make me use it.

11. (Bonus) The Real Lastly,
I was walking to school when my house exploded! Rushing back, I realized a team of skilled robots had taken over the area my house used to be. I quickly built a nuclear reactor which overheated and exploded, killing them and gifting me with super-powers. Using these super-powers, I saved the town from the space invaders and received the key to the city. That is why I couldn’t do my homework. (Hey, this is so crazy, it just might work. But if it works, I can’t put it in a list of homework excuse that don’t work!) EDIT: Never mind, it didn’t work.

随心地使用以下这些自由的和懒散的借口吧。

1. 远大抱负

从小,我就没有要立志当总统、宇航员,甚至当一名理发师。我想成为一个露宿街头的乞丐。因为我知道,我并不需要任何的资格去成为一个乞丐,除了一身奇怪而难闻的气味。我的人生已经如此规划好了。

2. 我是一个海盗

啊,你们这些黑舌头粉末的猴子!如果你想让我做作业,我会立刻跳大麻吉格舞(绞死的隐晦说法),送你去和大卫·琼斯见面!而且…呃…啊!

3. 智慧 + 卓越的 = 政府财产

我很抱歉我今天不能交作业了,这是因为政府觉得我的智商对于普通学校来说已经太高了。他们正在为我准备一个实验基地,但在实验基地建成之前,我不可以使用我的高超智商做任何事情。

4. 作业或准时

我准备在来学校上课之前把作业做好,但我发觉这样我会迟到。所以,在来学校上课和交作业之间,只能选择一个,而我,是如此地热爱有你的陪伴,威尔逊老师。知道了,我会到校长办公室去的。

5. 我是一个隐者

听听那声音? 这是我站在你身后,用武士刀抵着你的喉咙。千万不要转身,我只准备说一次。隐者是不会做作业的。说完了。走开! 废物,我走了。隐藏在黑影中。 是的,我知道我正藏在你的窗帘的背面。是的,威尔逊老师,我明天会交作业的了。所以,请把窗帘放下来吧……

6. 宠物问题

我的电子宠物把我的作业吃掉了。

7. 我是一个海盗隐者秘密间谍机器人

海盗隐者秘密间谍机器人是做不了作业的。作业使我的性能处于不稳定和危险的状态,在高性能的神秘海盗隐者机器人的影响里下我会爆炸的。

8.曾曾曾祖辈们

当我的曾曾曾祖母从奴隶解放后,她发誓再也不会再为任何人做事了。为了缅怀和继承她的伟大贡献,我决定跟随她的脚步,所以,我是不会去做作业的。

9. 不限期推延

对不起,威尔逊老师,我无法递交作业。我使用转换策略,以避免你用太长的时间批改我的作业,一直到我已经毕业、工作,并和你女儿结婚。什么? 你会每天都来探望我们? 我立刻开始去把4年的作业都作完。

10. 最后

我有一把光剑。不要逼迫我使用它啊。

11.(奖金)真正的最后

在我走路上学的时候,我家的房子爆炸了! 急忙往回走,我发现一队智能机器人已经占据了我家房子原所在地。我以最快的速度建了一座过热而且爆炸了的核反应堆,把那些机器人都消灭了,而且我还得到了超能力。拥有了这些超能力,我不仅赶走了来自地球外的侵略者保卫了我们家乡的安全,而且还得到了通往城市的钥匙。这就是我不能做作业的原因(嘿,这是多么疯狂啊,这只是有可能可行。但是,如果这真的可行,我无法将这列为没有完成作业的借口之一!) 备注:不用担心,这绝对是行不通的。