Like everything else in life, getting drunk is something worth learning how to do right. Unfortunately, a lot of what we know about drinking and drunkenness we learned from our friends, while everyone involved was, you guessed it, drunk.

So let's take a moment to debunk some of these rumors while we're all sober (most of us anyway).

5."Let Him Sleep it Off"

This myth probably stems from most people's desire to do as little work as possible while getting shit faced. Basically, the theory is that if someone drinks to the point of passing out, the best option is to toss them in bed and, like magic, they'll be fine after a little sleep.

The Truth:

Tossing a friend in bed after they've passed out drunk is a fantastic idea, provided you're hoping your friend drowns in their own vomit. Passing out and falling asleep aren't the same thing.

Someone who has passed out as a result of alcohol intoxication is unlikely to be awakened by the need to hurl. If they happen to be lying on their back when the spewing starts, the chunks have nowhere to go except into the lungs. Tell Hendrix we say hi!

What You Should Do Instead:

Lay them on their side and, between shots of tequila, try to check and make sure they haven't stopped breathing at some point. If their breathing becomes irregular or they start vomiting without waking up, they have alcohol poisoning. Call for help.

In the morning, they'll thank you for being responsible and taking care of them in their time of need. At least until they see the collage of swastikas and penises you drew on their face and arms.

4. Drinking Keeps You Warm

Alcohol makes you think that you sound smart while actually making you objectively dumber. Anyone who's been sober at a bar is familiar with this paradox. But you may not know that it has the same effect on your ability to not freeze to death. Yeah, alcohol's a dick like that.

The benevolent St. Bernard coming to the aid of a snowbound mountain climber with a warming shot of brandy ... it happened in too many 1950s era cartoons for us to count.

And you know what? Go take a shot of booze if you have some around (we assume most of our readers do). You feel warmer, right? But just like how that chick you brought Home wasn't nearly as hot as she was the previous night, the same goes for your core body temperature.

The Truth:

Alcohol makes you feel warm and turn beet red because it causes your blood vessels to dilate. This brings the blood closer to the surface of your skin, which makes you feel warmer.

Unfortunately, with the warmth now oozing off the surface of your skin instead of trapped in the core of your body, you're losing precious body heat. The Mythbusters took this on recently and said the same thing (in case you don't want to take our word for it).

So while sitting in your unheated apartment in the dead of winter pounding vodka might seem like a decent idea, your skin and Russian history are leading you astray.

What You Should Do Instead:

If you find yourself stranded at the top of a mountain with a few buddies and a crate of schnapps, you're probably better off ignoring the booze and using each other's body heat for warmth. It's only gay if someone sees you.

If a St. Bernard does show up with a shot of brandy, feed it the shot and then drape its passed out body over your icy torso.

3.Taking Aspirin Prior to Drinking Will Prevent Hangovers

Drinking to the point that you have a hangover the next day is kind of like taking a peaceful drive through a majestic countryside only to arrive at your destination and find your wife nailing your best friend. It's a great trip, but the ending fucking sucks.

Naturally, throughout the ages people have come up with all kinds of harebrained schemes to avoid that dreaded hangover. One of the more timeless techniques is popping an aspirin or two prior to drinking. Sort of makes sense, in theory.

The Truth:

First of all, what kind of magical fucking aspirin are you taking that has the tenacity to still be fighting a headache well into the morning? It's not methamphetamine. Even if popping an aspirin before drinking did do anything to fight a hangover, its powers would have run their course well before you needed help.

But wait, it gets worse. A study by the American Medical Association found that ingesting aspirin actually slows the rate at which your body metabolizes alcohol. Not only does that increase blood alcohol levels, but it makes the effects of the alcohol last longer. So if you feel better than usual when you wake up in the morning, it probably means you're still drunk.

And while that may sound like a pretty awesome solution, especially if it gets you to work in time, you'll think differently when the delayed hangover hits you like a truck a few hours later. Or alternately, when you literally drive head on into a truck on the way to work because you're both drunk and hungover.

What You Should Do Instead:

When it comes to a hangover, dehydration is the real enemy. Try drinking eight ounces of water between drinks. It won't completely prevent a hangover, but it will make it a hell of a lot more manageable. Alternately, you could also just do what some do and drink indefinitely.

2.Drinking Coffee Will Make You Sober

When it comes to drinking myths, this one is a stone classic. How many movies have you seen where someone summons a cup of Coffee to quell their drunken shenanigans? Ten minutes later, the drinker in question has calmed right the fuck down and all is well. If only it was that easy.

The Truth:

Coffee is a stimulant. Alcohol is a depressant. The thinking here is that, in the war for control over your bodily functions, stimulants kick all sorts of depressant ass. If this theory had any legs, mixing cocaine and heroin would result in full-on excitement instead of untimely death. Coffee won't make you less drunk, but it will certainly make you a tad more alert. This is the stuff that DUIs are made of.

What You Should Do Instead:

Pretend you've passed out. Since you're joking, the risk of drowning in your own vomit is negligible. But your fellow drunken revelers won't know that.

Sure, they'll write "i Like Cockz" on your forehead, but cleaning it off will be a lot cheaper than the court costs from that all but guaranteed DUI. Hey, speaking of that...

1.You Can Beat a Breathalyzer Test

Let's be honest here: Driving drunk is an art. And when it comes to art, some people paint masterpieces while some others wrap their Geo around innocent civilians.

But it's not always that cut and dry. You may feel fine, you may be driving like a champ, but there is no accounting for that broken taillight. No matter how adept your driving skills may be, if you get pulled over and blow above the legal limit, you're going to jail. And rightfully so. You're an adult, skip the risk and call a cab.

But some people choose to push the envelope based on the idea that they can outsmart a breathalyzer test if they're pulled over. The methods vary wildly, ranging everywhere from sucking on pennies that have been handled by God knows who (and may have been up someone's ass at some point), to eating your underwear (which definitely has).

The Truth:

Again, the heroes at Mythbusters recently tackled this subject. Guess what? Nothing fucking works. Eat all the mustard you want (it IS delicious!), hyperventilate up a storm, belch, do whatever you like. But the fact is, that machine that you're blowing is pretty much undefeatable.

We accept in advance that someone in the comments section totally knows a guy whose cousin escaped a DUI by eating a jar of Vaseline and cramming a roll of Mentos up their ass. But who are you going to trust, a random internet commenter or the advice of a team of internet comedy writers?

What You Should Do Instead:

Let's put it this way: It's almost a statistical certainly that by New Year's Eve of 2009, at least one of the people reading this will be dead due to a drunk driving accident. About 15,000 people die every year that way in the US alone. The rate doubles over the holidays, and skyrockets among the young, drunken males of the type who tend to read this site. So seriously, just don't get fucking hammered and drive. We mean it.

Stay safe and have a happy new year.

五个杀死你的有关饮酒荒诞说法

像生活中的其他事情一样，醉酒也是一门学问。不幸的是，很多我们知道的关于醉酒的事情包括咱们自己当时都喝醉了。

现在趁着我们大部分还清醒，让我们来揭穿这些谎话吧！

5“让他睡一会就好了”

这种说法大概是因为人们在迷醉不知身在何处的时候总是懒的动。做起来就是把喝晕了的某人扔到床上，小憩一会就会好了。

事实上：

把一个醉酒的伙计扔到床上置之不理可不是什么好办法，除非你想他被自己的呕吐物淹死。昏倒和睡眠可是两码事。

一个醉汉可不会咳出异物，如果他躺着开始呕吐，呕吐物会进入他的肺，然后他就去见马克思了。

正确的做法是：

让他们侧卧，在继续拼酒的同时，还得不时的确认他们还在呼吸。如果他们呼吸不正常或者在昏迷的时候呕吐，那说明他们已经酒精中毒了，赶紧找人急救吧。

一早醒酒的时候他们会感谢你在他们需要的时候你负责的照顾他们，至少在他们看见你在他们脸上、胳膊上画的纳粹十字和阳具之前。

4 喝酒保暖

酒精能让你感觉自己聪明而实际上更笨了。常泡酒吧的人都知道这一点。但你可能不知道的是，它一样能扰乱你对寒冷的感知力，它就是这么个玩意。

善良的圣伯纳靠一口温暖的白兰地在雪峰中救出无数登山者，这样的桥段在50年代的卡通中出现了无数次。

然而你知道吗？如果你身边有酒的话喝一口（我们假设读者都有酒），你感到更暖和了，对吧？但是就像你今天带回家的女伴这么也不像昨天那么火辣了一样，你的体温也没有那么高了。

事实上：

酒精让人觉得温暖和身体发红是因为它让血管扩张让血液更靠近皮肤，这让人感觉更暖和。

糟糕的是，当热量从你皮肤表面而不是保存在你体内的时候，你就流失了宝贵的身体热量。《辟谣者》最经也接受了这种理论（你要是不信的话可以去查）。

所以在深冬时候，在你未取暖的冰房子子里大喝伏特加看起来是个好办法，你的皮肤和俄罗斯历史带你如迷途。

正确做法：

如果你发现你自和三五好友被困在山顶，而手边只有酒，你最好忽视酒精和同伴互相用体温取暖吧，这样被人发现后也不过被看做同性恋而已。

如果一只圣伯纳真的带着白兰地出现了，那把酒给它灌下去之后把它盖在自己的身上。

3 喝酒前吃一片阿司匹林能防止宿醉

喝酒喝到第二天会宿醉的程度就像在宁静的乡村公路上开车，到地方却发现你妻子和你最好的朋友通奸，旅程很美妙，结果却MLGBD很糟糕。

为了避免宿醉，人们自然的想出各种各样轻率的办法来。其中一个比较悠久的办法就是在喝酒前吃一两片阿司匹林，在理论上这个办法有点意义。

事实上：

首先，无论什么样的阿司匹林，其药性都不会坚持一个晚上。它可不是甲基苯丙胺。就算阿司匹林会起什么作用，在你需要帮助之前也已经耗光药力了。

还不止这个。一项美国医药联盟的调查显示，摄取阿司匹林实际上减慢了人体代谢酒精的速度。这样的话就不止提高了血液中酒精的含量，也使酒精的作用更加的持久。所以如果你发现这次宿醉没有以前难受，那你很可能还醉着呢。

如果这个办法能让你准时上班，那还不错。可延迟了几个小时的宿醉会像一个卡车撞在你身上，或者真的在上班的路上被卡车撞上，因为你即醉又宿醉。

应该做的是：

宿醉时，脱水是大敌。所以在喝酒的时候喝8盎司的水感觉会好点，虽然不能完全逃掉宿醉，至少没那么难受。当然了你也可以喝无数的水。

2 咖啡能让你清醒。

谈到醉酒谎言，这条可是太经典了。多少次我们在电影里看到一个人用咖啡来醒酒提神？十分钟后醉酒的就完全好了。如果真的那么容易就好了。

事实上：

咖啡是刺激物，酒精是镇静剂。想法是这样的，在夺取身体控制权的战争中，刺激物全面战胜了了镇静剂。如果这种理论真的行得通的话，那么可卡因和海洛因的混合物只会让人兴奋而不是置人于死地了。这个是药物利用指数的问题。

应该做的是：

装醉。因为是装的，所以不会被自己的呕吐物呛死。但是其他狂饮者是不会知道的。

当然了，他们会在你的脑袋上写“我就是个J8”,但洗掉这个肯定比解释有保证药物利用指数的诉讼费用要便宜多了，嘿，谈到这个。。。

1 你能骗过酒精呼吸测试

老实说：醉酒驾驶是艺术。谈到艺术，有些人画出来的是杰作，而有些人确把线条画到无辜者的身上。

不过有时候确实不那么明确。你可能感觉很好，你可能开的很好，但还是弄坏了尾灯。不管你的技术多么的娴熟，如果你被道边喊停然后发现呼吸酒精含量超限，你就得进监狱。所以嘛，作为一个成年人，别冒险了，打车吧！

但是总有一些人要以身试法，总以为自己能逃过呼吸分析器。采取的办法也是五花八门，甚至包括舔含阴部（神知道谁这么干过），或者吃掉自己的内裤（肯定有人这么干过）。

事实上：

又一次，《辟谣者》的英雄们确定了这个问题。猜猜看，怎么样？ 什么都不管用。吃芥末、淋雨、打嗝，不管你这么折腾，事实上那个你吹的机器简直就是不败的。

咱们预先承认评论部分知道一个家伙的表弟通过吃一罐凡士林和在屁股里塞上一堆曼妥思逃过了药品检查，不过你会相信谁呢？一个网络上随意的评论者，还是一队网络喜剧作家？

应该做的是：

这么说吧： 在2009年新年夜之前，在统计学上几乎是肯定的阅读这篇文章的人至少因为醉酒驾车死掉1个。光美国每年就因此死掉15,000人。在节假日期间死亡率翻倍，而在愿意阅读这个网址的年轻的醉酒男性就更高了。所以真滴，别TMD喝高了开车。

希望你安全，顺祝新年快乐！