Relationship thoughts from the left side of the brain.

Surely, true love requires more than 3 reasons, you may be thinking. I must be oversimplifying things. Maybe I've never really been in love and I have no idea what I'm talking about, or perhaps I'm just a lunatic. Well, you're certainly entitled to your opinion, but please hear me out before you jump to conclusions. By the time you have finished reading this article, I hope to convince you that, in fact, there are only 3. I know you're dying of curiosity, so let's just get right to the point, shall we?

The first reason to love someone is because of who they are. Of the three reasons, this one is probably the most obvious. We are naturally drawn to those who possess qualities that are important to us. Physical appearance, money, and lifestyle might be important factors for many. Others may place a higher value on thoughtfulness, affection, or intelligence. The list, of course, goes on and on.

The second reason to love someone is because of who they are not. We've all been in situations where some fairly distinct personality flaws have been prominently exhibited by those around us from time to time. Who hasn't at some point elbowed their significant other to say, “I'm soooo glad you're not like THAT!” Some of the more common traits in this category might be unfaithfulness, freeloading, or lack of personal hygiene.

The third reason to love someone is despite who they are. No one is perfect. If it doesn't bother you that your girlfriend clips her toenails in the kitchen while cooking dinner, you might be a redneck or you might be in love—perhaps both. Is it acceptable to be seen with a boyfriend who actually goes out in public wearing jeans and Nikes with argyle socks? Bottom line is, of all the things that are annoying about someone, which ones are acceptable, which ones are deal-breakers, and which ones can be negotiated or changed?

I believe that true love consists of these three key reasons to love someone. If I can say that I love someone for all three reasons, and I can articulate specific qualities in each of these categories, then I have a good understanding of what is most important to me. Please understand, however, that I'm not suggesting that it is necessary to create a master checklist before the next date. If the list is miles long, one may never find true happiness. After all, no one will completely measure up to a wish list that's too specific. However, it is important to understand those traits, qualities, or values that are not negotiable. We all probably have some non-negotiable items in each of the three categories I described above. Spending time with people who meet these basic criteria often makes interesting things happen. Sometimes strengths in some areas make weaknesses in other areas less offensive. Things we never imagined we could tolerate suddenly become acceptable because of the unique combination of strengths that another person brings to the relationship. Also remember that just as important as finding someone who meets my key criteria is making sure that I am lovable, too. We all have positive qualities, but which ones are the ones I want someone to love me for? Are those qualities most evident? Which of my less desirable traits can I improve upon?

If all this seems too confusing or analytical, just remember that there are only three reasons to love someone. With that in mind, I need to go buy some new socks.

当然，你可能会想，真正爱情的理由不止3个。我必是把事情过于简单化了。或许我从没有爱过，对于我要谈论的事情一无所知，或者我就是个疯子。是的，你可以这么想，但是，在你得出结论前，请听我说。当你读完这篇文章的时候，我希望使你相信，事实上，只有3个原因。我知道你十分好奇，那么就让我们进入正题。

爱上某人的第一个原因是他是某种人。三个原因中，这一个可能是最明显的了。有些人拥有某些对我们来说很重要的品质，我们自然就倾向于他。对于许多人来说外表，金钱和生活方式可能是比较重要的因素。另外一些人更看重思想，感情或者才智。当然，我还可以列举很多。

爱上某人的第二个原因是因为他们不是某种人。我们都处在这样一种境遇中，我们周围的一些人总在非常明显的暴露他们独特的人格缺陷。那些在任何时刻都认为自己很重要的人会说：我真高兴你不是那样的人。这类人的普遍特征就是他们不真诚，爱占小便宜，或者不讲卫生。

爱上某人的第三个原因是不管他们是怎样的人。人无完人。如果你不介意你的女朋友一边在厨房里做饭，一边剪指甲，你不是乡下人就是爱上了她，亦或两者都是。你是否介意和穿着牛仔裤耐克鞋配菱形花纹袜子的男友一起出现在公共场合？ 底线就是，这个人身上所有令人厌恶的东西中，哪些是可以接受的？哪些是不能接受的，哪些是可以忽略的或者可以改变的？

我相信真正的爱情包括这个关键因素。如果我能说我爱上某人是由于这三个原因，如果我能清楚地说出这三种原因各自的特征，那我就能很好的理解对我来说什么才是最重要的。请谅解，我不是建议说在下次约会开始之前有必要先准备一张清单。如果这张清单有几英里长，你可能永远都找不到真爱。毕竟，没有人能完全符合一张详细的愿望清单。但是却很有必要了解这些特性，特征和价值，这些是不允许讨价还价的。对于我上述的三个原因，其中可能都有一些我们不允许讨价还价的因素。与符合这些基本标准的人度过一段时光通常会发生很多有趣的事情。有时，有些领域的优势使其他方面的劣势不那么突出了。有些我们认为无法忍受的事情突然变得可以接受了，因为另一个人给你们的关系中带来了优势的独特联系。请记住，找到满足我主要标准的人的同时，也是确保我也是可爱的。我们都有优点，但是哪些是我希望别人也承认的优点？那些品质是显而易见的么？哪些地方我还需要改进？

如果这些看起来太困惑或是太理论化，请记住爱上某人只有3种原因。记住了那些，我需要加倍努力了。