Do you ever just sit and think, what if... or stand back and look at all that needs to be done and wonder, how did you get to this point?

I stand back and look around, at all the chaos around me, wondering what happened? The house is a mess, the kids are out of control, my relationship has fallen apart, and all I seem to think about is, having some fun for a change. Sounds greedy doesn't it? I turned 40 recently, and I was nervous about that, thinking of all that I haven't done in my life yet, what I want to be doing, how I want to be doing it, and who I want to be doing it with.

I wonder what if I had taken a different path, what would my life be like now? What if I would have just used different words, what if I just would have taken that chance? Where would I be now?

Sometimes, we go through life not really living it, but just thinking about it. Wouldn't it be nice if…

If I could have that, or go there. Some of us just settle for what we have, for the comfort of knowing that it's familiar, however that comfort zone and sense of familiar isn't always enough. I think I have gotten to a point in my life, where I have realized that, I am not so comfortable anymore. I don't want to just think about life anymore, I want to live it.

I want to be happy, I want to take my children places, I want to be able to decorate my home to reflect who I am, I want to be me, and not be worried that someone won't like it. I want to be able to just sit back and relax and not worry all the time. How long does it take to get to that point?

I think about finding that great job, making enough money to be comfortable, doing something that I really enjoy, I feel like I have spent my whole life living it someone else's way. For now I need to take a deep breath, kiss my children, take responsibility for where I am, and keep moving forward until I get to that place I want to be in. Stop thinking about that mess, and just get it done! Life is to short to be angry, and unhappy, and it has taken me this long to finally admit to myself, I am tired of JUST THINKING…

你是否曾坐下来想一想,要是….就不会退缩,茫然看着不得不面对繁冗锁事,该怎么处理这个问题?

所有乱七八糟的事纠缠着我,我只能倒退回来四处张望,不知道究竟怎么了?房子一片狼藉,孩子不受管束,人际关系疏离,我能想的就是做一次乐观的改变。难道很贪婪吗?将近40,生命中还有许多事没完成,我不禁汗岑连连。哪些事我想做的,该怎么做,找谁一起做?

我不禁遐想假如当初选了另一条完全不同的路,今天我的生活会是怎么样呢?假如我获取了另一些不同的信息,我会得到什么样的机遇呢?今天我又该身处何方?

有时,我们无须对生活严加审视,仅仅需要稍作思考。假如….,生活不美好吗?

早知如此就不会去了。有些人只满足现状,安于熟知,然而安逸的地方,熟知的感觉往往不够。我自认为我已理解生活中意识到的过去的每一处,但是现在我不再感到安逸,不再是仅仅的思考而是去体验。

我想能够快乐,培养好孩子,装修一个与我相符的家,我要做我自己不再顾忌谁喜不喜欢。我只要坐下来休息不再担心时间流逝。什么时候才可以实现这些想法呢?

我考虑干一番轰轰烈烈的大事业,然后挣足够的钱可以一劳永逸,做我真正喜欢的事。我觉得我用了全部的生命去为别人而活,现在我只需深深吸一口气,吻吻小孩,做好本职工作,然后一路向前直到到达我梦想的地方。该停下来想想那些杂乱的事,把他们搞定!生命过于匆忙来不及愤怒,沮丧,花费太长的时间来最终妥协。我累了,只是想想…..