Our body language exhibits far more information about how we feel than it is possible to articulate verbally. All of the physical gestures we make are subconsciously interpreted by others. This can work for or against us depending on the kind of body language we use. Some gestures project a very positive message, while others do nothing but set a negative tone.

Most people are totally oblivious to their own body language, so the discipline of controlling these gestures can be quite challenging. Most of them are reflexive in nature, automatically matching up to what our minds are thinking at any given moment. Nevertheless, with the right information and a little practice, we can train ourselves to overcome most of our negative body language habits.

Practice avoiding these 25 negative gestures:

I speak two languages, Body and English.
- Mae West

Holding Objects in Front of Your Body – a coffee cup, notebook, hand bag, etc. Holding objects in front of your body indicates shyness and resistance, such that you’re hiding behind the objects in an effort to separate yourself from others. Instead of carrying objects in front of you, carry them at your side whenever possible.

Checking the Time or Inspecting Your Fingernails – a strong sign of boredom. Never glance at the time when you’re speaking with someone. Likewise, completely avoid the act of inspecting your fingernails.

Picking Lint Off of Your Clothes – If you pick lint off of your clothes during a conversation, especially in conjunction with looking downwards, most people will assume that you disapprove of their ideas and/or feel uneasy about giving them an honest opinion. Leave the lint alone!

Stroking Your Chin While Looking at Someone – “I’m judging you!” People frequently stroke their chin during the decision-making process. If you look at someone while you’re stroking your chin, they may assume that you’re making a judgmental decision about them.

Narrowing Your Eyes – If you want to give someone the impression that you don’t like them (or their ideas), narrow your eyes while looking at them. It immediately places a scowling expression on your face. A slight narrowing of the eyes is an instinctual, universal expression of anger across various species in the animal kingdom (think about the angry expressions of tigers, dogs, etc.). Some people make the mistake of narrowing their eyes during a conversation as a reflex of thinking. Don’t send people the wrong message… don’t narrow your eyes.

Standing Too Close – This just makes people feel uncomfortable. Most people consider the 4 square feet of space immediately surrounding their body to be personal space. Cross this invisible boundary with good friends and intimate mates only.

Looking Down While in the Presence of Others – usually indicates disinterest. Sometimes it’s even interpreted as a casual sign of arrogance. Always look straight ahead and make eye contact when you see someone you know.

Touching Your Face During a Conversation – Face touching, especially on the nose, is commonly interpreted as an indication of deception. Also, covering up the mouth is a common gesture people make when they’re lying. Always keep your hands away from your face when you’re speaking.

Faking a Smile – another sign of deception commonly seen on the face of a fraud. A genuine smile wrinkles the corners of the eyes and changes the expression of the entire face. Fake smiles only involve the mouth and lips. It’s easy to distinguish between the two. Don’t force yourself to smile… unless it’s for the camera.

Leaning Away From Someone You Like – a sign of being bored and disinterested. Some people may also interpret it to mean: “I don’t like you.” People typically lean towards people they like and away from people they dislike. This is especially true when they are sitting around a table. If you lean away from someone you like, you’re sending them the wrong message.

Resting Hands Behind the Head or on the Hips – usually interpreted as a sign of superiority or bigheadedness. Only use these gestures when you’re in the presence of close friends.

Not Directly Facing the Person You’re Speaking To – This indicates a certain level of discomfort or a lack of interest. When we’re happily engaged in a conversation we face the person we’re speaking to with our feet and torso facing directly forward. When we’re unsure of the other person, or not completely committed to the conversation, we tend to angle our feet and torso to the side. Face directly forward during a conversation to give off the impression that you’re truly interested in what the other person is saying.

Crossing Your Arms – a sign of defensive resistance. Some people may also interpret it as a sign of egotism. Always try to keep your arms open and at your sides.

Displaying a Sluggish Posture – When you’re in an environment bustling with people your posture becomes an immediate telltale sign of your confidence and composure. Your stance literally makes a stand for you, delivering a clear message about how you should be treated. It can make a huge difference in the way strangers respond to you. Place your feet a comfortable distance apart, keep your shoulders pulled back, head up and greet people with direct eye contact and a firm handshake.

Scratching at the Backside of Your Head and Neck – a typical sign of doubt and uncertainty. It can also be interpreted as an indication of lying. Try to keep your hands away from your head when you’re communicating with others.

Messing With the Collar of Your Shirt – It screams: “I feel horribly uncomfortable and/or nervous!” Once again, keep track of your hands. Don’t fidget.

Increasing Your Rate of Blinking – a clear sign of anxiety. Some people start blinking their eyes really fast (in conjunction with an increased heart rate) when they get nervous. Since most people try to make eye contact, it becomes immediately obvious to others. Be cognizant of your blinking habits when you’re nervous, especially if someone is looking at you from a close proximity.

Slouching Your Shoulders – indicates low self-esteem. People associate perked-up shoulders with strong self-confidence. Always pull your shoulders back. Not only will you look more confident, you’ll feel more confident as well.

Standing with Your Hands Crossed Over Your Genitals – This casual posture almost guarantees that you’ll lose a little respect before you even have the chance to speak a single word. People feeling nervous or unsure of themselves will unconsciously take a guarded stance. Quite frequently they adopt a posture that guards one of their most vulnerable areas, their genitals. This stance pushes your shoulders forward and makes your entire body look smaller and weaker. Again, try to keep your hands at your sides and your shoulders back.

Propping Up Your Head with Your Hands – “I’m getting bored!” Never prop up your head with your elbows and hands during a conversation. Place your hands on the table in front of you and keep them at rest.

Wiping Sweaty Hands onto Your Clothes – a sign of frantic nervousness. If your hands are sweating, just let them sweat. Take a few deep breaths and try to relax.

Sitting on the Edge of Your Chair – a clear indication of being mentally and physically uncomfortable. It’s an apprehensive stance that will make others around you feel uncomfortable as well. Keep your rear end firmly planted on the surface of the seat. When you lean forward, use your back without moving your bottom.

Foot and Finger Tapping – usually indicates stress, impatience or boredom. Monitor your habits and practice keeping your limbs at rest.

Using Your Hands to Fidget with Small Objects – a pen, paper ball, etc. This is another sign of anxiety. It can also be interpreted as a lack of preparedness. It’s always best to keep your hands comfortably at rest when you’re in the presence of others.

Repeatedly Shifting Body Weight from Foot to Foot – This is another gesture that usually indicates mental and physical discomfort. People may also see this and assume that you’re ready to abandon the conversation, especially if you’re not directly facing them. Don’t shift your feet around more than once every 2 to 3 minutes.

对于我们的感受，我们的肢体语言所传达出的信息，远胜于口头上的阐述。我们所做的所有肢体语言，在潜意识下，均受到他人的影响。依据我们所用的肢体语言，这一点对我们既有利又不利。

一些肢体语言传达出积极的信息，而另一些则不然。

大部分的人对自己的肢体语言完全没意识，因此，控制这些肢体富有挑战性。大部分都是自然的反应，对我们大脑在某个特定时刻里思考内容的自动迎合。

然而，只要有正确的信息和稍加练习，我们就可以训练自己克服消极的肢体语言习惯。

练习避开这25种消极的肢体语言。

我说两种语言：肢体和英语——梅西

1. 在体前，握紧东西——一个咖啡杯，笔记本，手袋等。在体前握紧东西，暗示出羞怯和抵抗心理，以便于你能够躲在物体之后，尽力使自己和他人保持一定距离。如果可以的话，不要把东西放在体前，而是放在身旁。

2. 查看时间或者是检查自己的指甲——无聊的明确迹象。

当你在和其他人说话的时候，不要看时间。同样，也要完全避免查看自己的指甲。

3.如果你在谈话期间，脱掉衣服，特别是在你该接话的时候，还看向下方，多数人会以为你不同意他们的意见或不知该如何他们一个中肯的意见。不要这样。

4. 当看着对方时，摸自己的下巴——“我在估量你”。在做决定的时候，人们常会摸自己的下巴。如果你一边摸下巴一边看着对方，他们会认为你在估量他们。

5.眯上眼睛——如果你想给人留下的印象是：你不喜欢他们或不喜欢他们的想法，那么就在看他们的时候，眯上眼睛。愁容立刻浮现在你脸上。稍微眯上眼是动物王国里，所有动物本能并通用的表情，（想想老虎，狗等愤怒的表情)。一些人在交谈时错误地眯上眼睛，然而事实上他们只是在思考。不要传达给人错误的信息，不要眯上眼睛。

6. 站得太近——这只会让人感到不舒服。大多数人把自己身体周围的4平方英尺视为个人空间。只有与好朋友和亲密伴侣时，可以跨越这个无形的边界。

7.在其他人在场时，向下看——通常暗示了没兴趣。有时甚至被视为是不经意的傲慢讯号。当看见认识人时，要向前看，有眼神交流。

8. 谈话时，摸自己的脸——脸的碰触，尤其是鼻子，最常被认为是欺骗的信息。盖住自己的嘴，也是常见的人们说谎时的讯号。说话的时候，把手从脸上移开。

9. 假笑——另一个常见的面部欺骗信息。一个真正的微笑，眼角会皱起，整张脸都会随之变化。假笑只是嘴和唇动。两者很容易区别。除了拍照时，否则不要强迫自己去笑。

10. 对你喜欢的人，身体后倾——是一种厌倦和不感兴趣的讯息。有些人也把它解释为：“我不喜欢你”。人们通常对自己喜欢的人，身体前倾，远离不喜欢的人。尤其是坐在同一个桌子的时候。如果你离自己喜欢的人远的话，你就表错了信息。

11.把手放在头后或臀部——通常被解释为有优越感或大头症。只有对自己亲密的朋友，才可以做这个动作。

12.不正面与你说话的人——这表明了不舒服或不感兴趣。当我们热衷于谈话时，脚和身躯都会正面朝向对方。当对着我们不感兴趣的人和谈话时，脚和身体会自动转向另一边。谈话时，正面对方，会给对方留下的印象是：你对他说的话真的感兴趣。

13.双臂交叉——一种防范的讯号。有些人把它理解为是一种自负的表现。要把你的双臂展开或放在两侧。

14.显示疲弱姿势——当你在一个熙来人往的环境下，你的姿势就会成为你留给人自信与镇定的既定印象。你的站姿，表明你的立场，清楚地传达了这个讯息，你应该受到怎样的待遇。它可以发挥巨大的差异，在陌生人回应你的方式上。脚适度地岔开，背挺直，头朝上，打招呼时，要直视对方或坚定的握手。

15. 挠后脑和后颈——表示怀疑和不确定。也被看作是说谎的讯号。当和其他人交谈的时候，尽量让手远离头部。

16. 揪衣领——表明：“我觉得很不舒服或紧张”再次，随时握您的手中。不要摆弄你的衣领。

17.眨眼的频率增加——明显焦虑。有些人接话时，因紧张，随着心跳加快，眨眼的频率也会增加。因为大多数人都会对视，这样就会立刻被对方发现。当紧张的时候，尤其是有人近距离看你时，留意一下自己的眨眼。

18.耷拉肩膀——缺乏自信。超有自信的人会挺直肩膀。让你的肩膀一直向挺直。你不仅会看上去有自信，也会感到有信心。

19.站立时，双手交叉放在下体上——这个不经意的动作，一定会让你在开口说话之前，就失去一部分的尊重。人们在紧张和不自信的时候，会情不自禁的做出防伪姿势。他们通常会对自己最脆弱的地方，采取这种防伪姿势。这种姿势会让你肩膀向前，会让你整个身体显得更渺小，更脆弱。再次提醒，把手放在身体侧面或后面。

20. 用手托着自己的头——“我已经厌倦了” 交谈时，不要用肘或手去托自己的头。把手放在你前面的桌子上并让它们休息。

21. 用你的汗手往衣服上蹭——一个极度紧张的讯息。如果你的手正出汗，就让它出汗。深呼吸，尽力放松。

22. 坐在椅子的一边——清楚的表明：精神和身体都不舒服。这是一个不安的姿势，会让周围人也跟着你不安。让你屁股安定地坐在椅子上。当你要向前倾时，用你的背向前即可，不要移动自己的屁股。

23. 脚和手指轻敲——通常暗示出，有压力，不耐烦或厌烦。留意自己的习惯，练习让自己的四肢放松。

24. 用手摆弄小东西——一只笔，纸球等。又是一个焦虑的信号。也可以解释为缺乏准备。当你和他人会面时，尽量把双手自然放松。

25. 反复转动自己——也是一种精神和身体不舒服的表现。人们也许会认为，你不想再继续这次谈话，尤其是你还没有直面他们。不要每2，3分钟就转动自己的脚，频率超过一次。