Do you tend to compartmentalize all the different areas of your life? Career goes there, relationship goes here, spirituality fits there, and health … well, that’s neither here nor there.

Or maybe your compartmentalizing is temporal instead of spatial in your thinking. During the workday you do what you must, this evening you’ll do what you love and have some fun, and on Sunday you’ll think about what it means.

Or perhaps you experience a feeling of compartmentalizing thought vs. action: “I’m spending X% of my time thinking and Y% of my time acting.”

When you view your life as a series of different compartments, each with different rules, then life gets pretty complicated. Trying to achieve balance is very difficult because you constantly feel the need to task switch. My relationship needs attention. Oh no, I’ve been neglecting my health. I need to work harder. I’ve got to stop thinking so much and take more action.

The different “bins” of your life are all fighting for your time. And the longer you neglect one of those bins, the louder it gets and the harder it will fight for attention. Put off your health for too long, and you’ll crash with an illness. Put off your relationship for too long, and a breakup may be the result. Put off your work, and your career and income will suffer.

This is a paradigm that many people share. Keep all your balls in the air. Keep all those plates spinning. Don’t let your spiritual beliefs interfere with your work.

But I think it’s a broken paradigm. Let’s consider a different way of thinking….

What if your life had only one bin, one ball to juggle, one plate to spin. Just one. No need to deal with 10 different areas of your life and keep them all balanced. Just one.

How is this possible? It’s possible if all of those different areas of your life are congruent, if they all follow the same rules. Then thought and action are one, both pointing in the same direction. They’re on the same path. Your work is congruent with your most deeply held spiritual beliefs — you don’t have to take your spirituality offline when you go to work. Improving your health improves your relationship. Increasing your income increases your service.

This means moving from a paradigm of the different parts of your life being in conflict to a new paradigm where they all cooperate. Instead of seeing each part of your life as independent, you begin to see them as interdependent. And isn’t this a more accurate model anyway? Can you truly isolate each part of your life as something separate? Can you abuse your health and think it won’t affect your career or your relationships? Do you think your feelings about your relationship won’t affect your financial situation? Can you ignore your spiritual beliefs when making business decisions and expect no negative consequences?

It seems obvious that all the different parts of your life are deeply interconnected. But a common way to treat problems is to try to isolate them. If there’s a problem with your health, you need to diet and exercise. If there’s a problem in your career, it’s time to work harder. But this isolation protocol doesn’t work well because there’s too much overlap between all the different parts of your life, no matter how much you try to isolate the problem areas and go to work on them.

It’s often the case that the obvious cause of the problem isn’t the true source. If you feel lonely because you haven’t been able to find the right relationship, and you keep trying harder and harder to find a relationship, you may get nowhere. The problem may be that you work at a career you aren’t passionate about, and you project this lack of passion to everyone you meet. And still a deeper issue may be that your spiritual beliefs tell you that service to others is very important, but you don’t feel you’re doing that. Then you change careers to do what you love, and it aligns with your spiritual beliefs because now you feel you’re contributing and serving. Then out of nowhere, you meet your future spouse, who is attracted to your passion about your work and the contribution you’re making. And the encouragement you experience from this relationship in turn helps you advance your career, increase your income, and free up more time to spend with your new spouse. Your stress goes down, and your health improves too. Your inner spiritual conflict was the real source of your inability to find the right relationship. Everything is deeply interconnected.

Although it seems that each part of your life follows different rules, they all follow the same rules. You may have different values for each part of your life, but the rules that govern those areas don’t change.

An example of an unchanging rule is kindness. The concept of kindness should resonate with your spiritual beliefs. You can be kind to your body, and your health will improve. You can be kind to your co-workers, and your relationships with them will improve. You can be kind to your spouse, and your marriage will grow stronger. You can be kind to a stranger, and your self-esteem will increase. It doesn’t matter to which area of your life you apply the principle of kindness. Its application is universal.

Another universal rule is being proactive, assuming personal responsibility for results and taking positive action. It doesn’t matter where you apply this rule: health, relationships, emotions, spiritual beliefs, career, business, money, etc. Being responsible works no matter where you apply it.

Cheating is another universal principle. No matter where you apply it, the long-term results are negative. Cheat your health, and pay the price of sickness. Cheat in your relationship, and the cost is a loss of intimacy. Cheat in your education, and your income suffers.

But more powerful than these intra-area effects, there’s the rippling effect due to the interrelatedness of all areas. So if you apply a universal principle in one area, either positively or negatively, it ripples into all other areas. If you cheat your health, then in the long run this will hurt your career, your relationships, your finances, your emotional state, and your sense of spiritual connectedness. You can’t cheat in one area of your life without suffering the consequences in ALL areas.

Similarly, be kind to your body, and your increased positive energy will positively affect your relationships, your work, your finances, your emotions, etc. Be proactive about building a career you enjoy, and your passion will spread to every other area.

If you violate a universal principle, it negatively impacts all areas of your life. If you follow a universal principle, it positively impacts all areas of your life. Universal principles don’t compartmentalize.

So the key then is figuring out these universal principles and aligning your thoughts and actions with them. This is how you achieve congruence between all the different parts of your life.

So what are the universal principles? Stephen Covey claims that the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People are based on universal principles. I tend to agree, and that’s a good place to start. But I think all of these principles can be reduced to just one: to love. Not the passive squishy emotional feeling of love, but “to love” — the action verb. To love your body translates into proper diet and exercise. To love your mind equates with learning. To love others is service. To love your work is to do it passionately and enthusiastically. To love your feelings means to respect and honor the messages they send you. This verb translates into different specific actions for each area, but the underlying principle is the same. Depending on the situation, “to love” may mean to listen, to serve, to work, to relax, to touch, and so on.

When you start injecting universal principles into every area of your life, alignment will gradually occur. The parts of your life will be transformed such that all these different pieces assemble themselves into one congruent whole. You won’t feel like these different parts of your life are in competition for your time and attention. Instead you’ll feel a sense of internal cooperation. You will have a sense that exercising your body is the best thing for your health and your relationship and your career and your spirituality.

Within each area you’ll either adapt your current circumstances to align with universal principles, or you’ll let go of all the misaligned pieces and start fresh. So your career may shift slightly as you adapt, or you may switch to a whole new career. Your old relationships may transform, or they may end while you seek out new ones. It just depends on how well the external parts of your life are able to align with who you are.

Alignment comes down to working on these four questions until they all produce the same answer:

What do you want to do? (desire)
What can you do? (ability)
What should you do? (purpose)
What must you do? (need)
When these four areas are aligned, motivation occurs automatically. Thought and action are automatically balanced because you are living your purpose consciously. You won’t feel like you should be thinking when you’re acting or acting when you’re thinking. The line between thought and action will disappear. Being and doing will become the same thing.

When you experience misalignment between these four areas/questions, the natural tendency is to slow down… sometimes to a crawl. You’ll feel like you have all these ideas pulling you in different directions, but you aren’t fully satisfying any of them. Your mind knows that continuing to work hard is likely to be futile and won’t solve the real problem of incongruence. It knows it’s time for you to stop, ask directions, and choose the path of alignment.

I went through this while running my games business. While I had many projects to grow the business, I knew deep down that I didn’t want to run that business for another decade. I was containerizing everything: my health over here, my relationship there, my work here, and my spirituality there. Each part of my life felt like it had its own set of rules. Eventually I started questioning whether this was the best way to live. Are we supposed to live like a collection of parts or as an integrated whole? I wondered whether it would be possible to live in such a way where there was only one set of rules governing all areas, essentially meaning that I followed my deepest spiritual beliefs in all matters. This line of questioning led me to discover just how it might be possible for all these different parts of my life might become a single, integrated whole. This would mean that my business and my conscience and my interpersonal relationships were all one. There would be no sense of separation.

In order to go through this process, I had to transform certain parts of my life while totally shifting others. I tried to transform my career initially from within, but the disconnect was big enough that it required a more dramatic shift. Other parts of my life were able to adapt more flexibly. The main reason for my shift away from my games business was that it wasn’t a strong enough outlet for service for me. I think that given enough time, the original business could have been shifted, but that wasn’t the best route for me too take. It was faster and simpler to build a new business from scratch with the goal of congruence in mind than to try to refactor the existing business.

I must say that this push for congruence in all areas turned out beautifully. I don’t feel that sense of separation between the different parts of my life anymore. My purpose says I’m here to serve and help people. My ability says I can do it through writing and speaking and running a web site. My needs say I must support myself doing it. And my passion says it’s what I love doing most. I don’t have to separate supporting myself with a job and then having fun on the weekends and thinking about spirituality at other times. Work = play = love.

When you live congruently, it’s as if all the different parts of your life lock into new positions to form a new whole that’s greater than all the individual pieces. Everything grows stronger: health, relationships, motivation, actions, results, etc.

I know that as a practical matter, it seems as though different rules often govern in different areas. Separating your spiritual beliefs from your work is very common. A lot of businesses seem to operate on the assumption that universal principles don’t exist. I don’t buy that at all. There are non-universal principles that apply just within their own domains (the rules of nutrition apply to your health but not to your work, for instance), but universal principles apply to all areas. I think that one’s spiritual beliefs are the single most important factor in choosing a career or a company to work for. If you have a deeply held belief that you hold sacred, you cannot violate it in any area of your life without suffering the consequences in all areas. You must be true to your inner self at all times. That’s the only way to be congruent and to live as a whole person instead of merely as a bag of competing parts.

When you live congruently, a quantum leap will occur in each of these four areas. Desire becomes passion. Purpose becomes mission. Need becomes abundance. Ability becomes talent. And it becomes almost ridiculously easy to achieve fulfillment in every area then because all the parts are working together in the same direction.

你是否有把生活分成许多个不同的领域呢？一部分是职业，一部分是人际关系，一部分是精神健康，一部分是身体健康等等各式各样的分类。

也可能你把生活按时间而非空间分类。上班时间做你必须做的工作；夜间则纵情娱乐，做你喜欢做的事情；星期天的时候你又会做自己认为是属于星期天的事情。

又或者你把生活分类为思想和行动：花X%的时间来想事情，Y%的时间付诸行动。

当你把生活看作是由一系列的元素组成，而每个部分都有自己的规则的时候，生活会变得很复杂。想要更个方面都要保持平衡可不是件容易的事情。因为你需要不断地转换各个方面。例如：我需要注意加强人际关系了。哦，不。我忽略了自己的健康问题。我需要更努力地工作。我应该停止想象，付诸行动。

生活的各个部分会相互争斗，夺取更多的时间。你如果越忽视一部分，那一部分会争斗地更厉害来引起你的注意。如果你忽视健康太久了，那么你的身体会垮掉。如果你忽视了人际关系，那么你的生活会已以人际关系破裂而告终。如果你忽视了工作，那么你的职业和收入会成为问题。

这很典型，大多数人都有这样的感受。把所有的球都抛到空中，让所有的碟子都保持旋转起来。不要让你的精神信仰干扰你的生活。

但在我看来这个典型其实是不完整的。让我们换一种方式思考。

想象一下如果你的生活只是一个整体，一个球，一个碟子，只是一个，你的生活会如何。你不需要处理生活的10个领域，不用费心让他们保持平衡。只用处理一个就够了.

这可能吗？当然可能，只要你把生活的各个领域统一起来，都遵守相同的规则。那样的话，思想和行动都指向同一个方向，在同一条道路上前进。做着符合信仰的工作时，你就无须在工作的时候把信仰放在一边。强身健体的同时你可以结交朋友，拓展人际关系。薪水增加的同时你也可以更多地服务社会。

这也就意味着从生活各个领域相冲突变成各领域相互合作。不再把生活的各领域看作独立的，而开始把它们看作是相互联系的部分。这种模式岂不更好？事实上，你真的能把生活各部分彻底分离？你是否想着身体健康并不会影响你的职业和人际关系？是否觉得自己的人际关系不会影响你的收入？在做决策的时候是否背离自己的信仰并认为最终不会有消极的后果。

很明显，生活的各个领域是密切相关的。但一般情况下，大家都会把它们分离开来处理。如果健康出了问题，你需要加强运动，改善饮食。如果工作上出了问题，你要更努力的工作。因为生活的各个领域之间有太多的重叠，无论你怎样努力地试着去把问题分成是属于生活的哪个领域再去解决，这种分类并不能很好地运行。

事情经常是这样的：看起来是问题的明显的起因的往往并不是问题真正的来源。如果因为你没处理好人际关系而觉得很孤单，努力地想要拓展人际关系，最终却没能解决问题。真正的问题可能是你做着自己不喜欢的工作，而你遇上的人却又对你的工作不感兴趣。更可能是你的信仰是要为社会服务，可是你觉得自己的工作并不符合你的信仰。当你换成自己喜欢的工作的时候你会觉得自己有服务社会并作出贡献，这和你的信仰是一致的。你会觉得自己并不孤单，然后遇见将来的配偶。他/她被你对工作的热忱以及你对社会的贡献所吸引。得益于这段关系的鼓励，你的职位会晋升，薪水会增加，而且有更多的时间陪你的伴侣。压力会减少，身体也会变得更健康。你内心世界的冲突才是你孤单的真正原因。每件事都是紧密联系的。

尽管看起来似乎生活的个部分遵循着不同的守则，事实上它们遵守着同样的守则。虽然生活各部分在你心中有不同的分量，但是管理着这些部分的规则并没有什么不同。

举善良这个规则为例。善良与你的信仰产生共鸣。善待你的身体，你会变得更健康。善待你的同事，你的人际关系会变得更融洽。善待你的配偶，你们的关系会更牢固。善待陌生人，你的自尊心会加强。无论在生活的哪个领域你都可以从你的善良中获益。善良是通用的。

另一个万能守则是积极，勇于承担责任并积极采取行动。论在生活的哪个领域你都可以应用这个守则：健康，人际关系，感情，信仰，工作，事业，金钱等等。无论在任何情况下你都可以保持负责的态度。

欺骗也是万能守则之一。但是无论你在什么情况下使用它，长期以往结果都是消极的。欺骗你的健康，你会付出生病的代价。在人际交往中欺骗，你和朋友会不再亲密无间。在接受教育是欺骗，你的收入会遭受损失。

除了对每个领域内部产生影响，还有更大的影响：涟漪效应。如果你在生活的某个领域中应用万能守则，无论是消极的或积极的，它都会对其他领域产射干能够影响。如果你欺骗自己的身体，那么长此以往，你的工作，人际关系，收入，情感以及信仰都会受到影响。你不可能在生活的某个领域中欺骗而不影响到其他领域。

同样地，善待你的身体，你会有更多的能量去改善人际关系，做好工作，更好地理财，感情生活也更顺利。积极地投身于你喜爱的工作，你的热忱会遍布生活的各个领域。

如果你不遵守这些万能守则，那么这将会对生活的各个领域都造成不良影响。反之亦然。如果你遵守了这些守则，那么你生活的各个领域都会有积极的效应。万能守则并不会划分是通用的。

所以说关键是找出这些万能守则，把思想和行动统一起来。这样，你就能把生活的各个部分协调起来。

那万能守则又指的是哪些呢？斯蒂芬。柯威认为高效率的人有7种建立在万能守则基础上的习惯。我也同意这个观点，这是很好的起点。不过我认为所有的万能守则都可以用一个词来概括：爱。爱不只限于感情上的爱，而是动词的爱。爱你的身体，也就是说要有合理的饮食和锻炼。爱自己的头脑，就是要爱学习。爱其他就是要为他人服务。爱工作就是要怀着激情和热忱去工作。爱你的感情就是要尊敬它们传达的信息。不同领域爱可以翻成不同的含义，但隐含在其中的守则是一样的。不同的情况，爱可以是听，是服务，是工作，是放松，是接触，是……

当你开始在生活的各个领域开始使用万能守则时，你的生活会变得很协调。生活的各个部分会组合成一个整体。你也不会再觉得生活的各个部分在争夺你的注意力和时间。相反地，你会觉察到它们内部的合作。你会觉得运动不仅有益健康，还对你的人际关系，职业生涯和精神生活有很大的好处。

就每个领域来说，你可能需要改变来遵循万能守则，也可能要把不协调的部分抛弃重新开始。因为你改变了，你的工作会发生变化。在你追求新的人际关系的时候你原有的人际关系会发生改变，或者结束。变化的程度取决于生活个部分的协调程度。

除非下面四个问题有了同样的答案，否则生活各个部分会继续争斗：

你想做什么？（渴望）

你能做什么？（能力）

你该做什么？（目的）

你必须做什么？（需要）

当着四样统一起来后，动力会自然而然地产生。因为你下意识地开始实现你的目的，所以你的思想和行动会自动地保持平衡。在你行动的时候你就不会在想自己需要思考，思考的时候也不会在想自己需要行动。思想和行动之间的界线就会消失。想和做会合而为一。

当你在这四个方面/问题面临不协调时，最自然的反应是慢下来，有时甚至是慢到龟行。你会觉得这几个方面的答案迫使你往不同的方向前行，可是其中任何一个都不能让你满意。你会觉得继续那样做是徒劳的，而且并不能解决问题。该是停下来思考正确的方向，选择统一的道路的时候了。

在经营我的游戏事业的时候我也经历了这样的历程。那个时候我有很多的项目可以用来拓展我的事业，可是我很清楚自己并不想在接下来的10年里继续做这个行业。我的大脑中包含了生活的各个部分：有健康，有人际关系，有工作，有精神信仰等等。似乎每个部分都有自己的规则。最后我开始问自己是否有一种最好的生活方式。我们的生活该是各个部分的组合还是一个统一的整体？我在想是否可能有可以管理所有领域的整套守则，或者更确切地说，我能否在处理生活所有领域的事物时都遵守内心最深处的信仰？这个问题让我发现自己的生活可以是一个统一的整体。这就意味着我的事业，我的意识，我的人际关系都是统一的，不再有分裂的感觉。

找到出路之后，我开始改变生活的各个部分：有的是彻底地改变，有的是稍稍有点改变。刚开始我尝试首先开始改变我的职业。但是生活各部分彻底分离了，需要进行更巨大的改变。而生活的其他部分能更灵活地适应。我不再从事游戏行业的一个主要原因是因为它不能满足我提供服务的意愿。我想如果有足够的时间，我会从头开始改变行业，但这对我来说并不是最好的出路。但是白手起家创立新的事业来统一生活的各部分比从头再做现有的事业更快，更简单。

不得不承认，这种推动使得生活各领域的统一最后变得很美好。我也不再觉得生活的各部分是分裂的。我的目的是为人们服务，为他们提供帮助。我能够通过经营网站，通过说，写来实现这个目的。我需要通过这份工作来养活自己。我热爱这份工作。我不用把自己的生活分成几部分：工作来养活自己，在周末的时候娱乐，在其他时候想精神上的事情。生活=娱乐=爱。

当生活的各部分统一起来，各部分就像是移到新的位置形成一个全新的整体。这个整体比独立的各部分更强大。一切都比以前更强大了：健康，关系，动机，行动，结果等。

实际上，看起来各领域都有属于自己的守则。通常大家会把自己的工作和信仰分离开来。很多事情看起来似乎都不遵守万能守则。我一点都不认同这个观点。一个独立的守则仅适用于单独的领域的（例如：营养学适用于健康并不适用于工作）。但万能守则却适用于所有领域。在我看来，一个人的信仰是决定他从事某类工作或为哪个公司工作的最重要的因素。如果你内心深处坚持神圣的信仰，你不可能在生活其他领域破坏这个信仰的时候而不产生不良影响。你必须时时坚持内心深处真实的自己。这是你把生活各部分统一起来而不是分离开来，相互斗争的唯一的方法。

当你把生活各部分统一起来的时候，四个领域会发生巨大的飞跃。渴望变成了激情。目的变成了使命。需求变成了富裕。能力变成才能。因为所有的领域都朝着同一个方向前进，所以实现这个目的很容易。