Often we're told that we have to suffer now — give up what we want — in order to succeed later, that in order to save we must sacrifice. Give up instant gratification to get delayed gratification.
But you can do both.
For years, I was confused about this, as I read books and websites that sent me two different messages:
Pleasure later. The first message was that in order to be successful, in order to build wealth, you have to delay gratification. You can't have instant gratification and be successful.
Pleasure now. The second message was usually from other sources on Happiness, but sometimes from the same source: enjoy life now, while you can, because it's short and you never know when your last day will come. Live every day like it's your last. Trouble is, I agree with both messages. And if you read this site often, you’ll see that I send both messages: Live frugally and simply! But also enjoy life!
That's because I've reconciled the two philosophies into one: Live life now and enjoy it to the fullest — without destroying your future. The key to doing that? Find ways to enjoy life completely, utterly, maximally … that don’t cost your future very much.
Here are some tips for actually living that philosophy:
Find free or cheap pleasures. Frugality does not have to be boring or restrictive … if you use your imagination. Be creative and find ways to have fun — loads of it — without spending much money. Have a picnic at the park, go to the beach, do crafts, board games, fly a kite, make art, bake cookies … I could list a hundred things, and you could come up with a few hundred more. Make a list of simple pleasures, and enjoy them to the maximum. This is the key to the whole idea of enjoying life now without spending tomorrow's dollar. See Savor the Little Things .
Make simplifying fun. I'm a big fan of simplifying my life, from decluttering to creating a simple lifestyle in every way. And to me, this is great fun. I get rid of stuff (and possibly make money selling it) and have a blast doing it. That’s good math.
Rediscover what’s important. Oftentimes we spend tons of money, shopping, going out, watching movies, eating out … without really enjoying life. And when we stop to think about it, we never have time for the things we really want to do. Well, that's probably because your life is filled with things that aren't very important to you. Instead, step back and really think about what’s important to you. Then get rid of the other (expensive) stuff, and focus on what's important. Listen to some stuff on my list: my wife and kids, other friends and family, reading, writing, exercising, volunteering, spending quiet time in contemplation. Guess how many of those things cost a lot of money? Read more here .
Make people a priority. This is related to the above point, but I thought I'd give it a little more emphasis. If you give "stuff" a priority — stuff like gadgets, nice furnishings, nice clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. — then you will spend a lot of money. But if you make people a priority — the people you love most, you close friends and family — you don't need to spend a dime to enjoy life. Make some time to visit with friends, or your parents … and have a conversation with them that doesn't involve eating out or going to the movies. Just sit, have some iced tea or hot cocoa (depending on the weather), and talk. Tell jokes and laugh your heads off. Talk about books you've read, movies you’ve watched, new things going on in your life, your hopes and dreams. And make time for your kids or your significant other — really spend time with them, doing things that don't cost money. (See Spend Time with Family and Loved Ones , 100 Ways to Have Fun With Your Kids and 50 Ways to Be Romantic on the Cheap .)
Find time for yourself. Make time every day, and every week, to spend time alone. It really gives more meaning and enjoyment to your life, rather than rushing through life with no time to think, to breathe. For ideas on how to make this time, see these ways to create time for solitude .
Sometimes, splurge. You shouldn't restrict yourself from expensive pleasures all the time — it's not good to develop the feeling of deprivation. To prevent that, once in awhile, buy yourself something … or better yet, give yourself a decadent treat. I love things with dark chocolate or berries. Crepes with ice cream and berries are one of my favorites. Just don't go overboard … and learn to enjoy the splurge to the fullest. If you truly take the time to enjoy a treat, you don't need a lot of it.
Track your successes. It doesn't really matter how you track your success … you can use gold stars for creating a new simplifying or frugalfying habit, or a spreadsheet chart to track your decreasing debt and increasing savings or investments. Tracking is a great way to not only provide motivation, but make the process of changing fun.
Reward yourself. And in order to make it more fun, celebrate every little success! Set rewards for yourself (hopefully not too expensive!) along your path to success — celebrate one day, two days, three days, a week, two weeks, three, a month … you get the idea.
Volunteer. One of the most rewarding things for my family has been when we have managed to volunteer. It's actually something we only started doing last year, but since then, we've done it a bunch of times in a number of different ways. And while it doesn't cost a dime, it is tremendously satisfying in ways that money could never buy. Read more .
Live in the moment. Learn to think not so much about the past or future, but about what you are going through right now. Be present. It may seem trite, but it's the key to enjoying life to the fullest — without having to spend money. Think about it — you can spend money on eating out, but if you are not really thinking about what you're eating, you may not enjoy it much at all. But if you cook a simple but delicious meal, and really taste every bite, it can be tremendously enjoyable without costing a lot. Read more .
Slow down. In the same way, you can't really enjoy life to the fullest if it's rushing past you like it's on fast forward. Ever think about how quickly a week, a month, or a year goes by? Perhaps you're in the fast lane too much. Try slowing down, and things will be less stressful and more enjoyable. Drive slower , eat slower , live slower .
Learn to find cheap, cool stuff. Call me crazy, but I love shopping at thrift stores. You can find so many cool things there, and it costs so little. Garage sales are the same way. Or check out Freecycle , or read 20 Ways to Find Free or Cheap Books .
我们常常被告知,眼前要吃苦——放弃我们想要的——为了以后的成功,最后的胜利而牺牲现在。放弃即时行乐而实现今后的幸福。
其实你可以同时拥有。
过去几年,这个问题一直困扰着我,因为我在书中和在网上看到的不大一样:
行乐在后。我看到的第一种讲法就是,为了功成名就,腰缠万贯,你就得延迟享乐。要是你反其道而行之,及时行乐,那就难成功也。
及时行乐。我 所了解的第二种关于幸福的说法,主要是从其他地方看到的,但有时也就是从书中读到:趁自己年轻,要及时行乐,珍惜现在,因为人生苦短,你永远也无法预测哪 一天会是尽头。好好珍惜每一天,就好象那是你人生的最后一刻。但问题就是,我觉得这两种说法都没错。如果你常常浏览这个网站的话,你就会发现我的文章同时 体现了这两种态度:既要艰苦朴素!但也应及时行乐!
原因在于我将这两种观念合二为一:珍惜现在,及时行乐—但不要毁了自己的未来。那么要做到这一点,关键是什么呢?那就是要尽量实现最大限度的享受现在的生活,但又不陪上自己的未来。
想要活得精彩的话,这里倒是有些建议:
找到免费或廉价的行乐方式。勤 俭节约不一定就和无聊或拮据挂勾,当然你得充分发挥自己的想象力。要有创造性,变着花样找乐子,你就会发现,其实享乐方法有很多,不一定要花大把的钱。比 如说,到公园野餐,去海边,做做工艺品,下下棋,放放风筝,画画,烤个小饼干,我还可以列出许许多多,而且我相信你会发现更多。给简单的行乐方式列张表, 并最大可能地来享受其中的乐趣。这就是既能及时行乐又不至于寅食卯粮的核心所在。就好好品位生活的细微之处吧。
让快乐简单化。我十分推崇生活简单化,并尽全力将生活的各个方面都变简单。对于我来说,简单就是很大的乐趣。我把不用的东西都处理掉(常常是卖掉赚点钱),整个人就觉得舒坦。而且还能赚钱,何乐而不为呢?
重新审定生命的重心。我 们常常花大把大把的银子去购物,旅游,看电影,上饭馆等等,可却没有真正地享受生活。待到我们真地静下来想时,却发现总没有时间做我们真正想做的事情。好 吧,那也许是因为你的生活充斥着太多无关紧要的琐事。你应当退一步,好好想一下,什么对你来说才是最重要的。你可以听听我的想法:对我来说,重要的是我的 妻子和孩子,家庭和朋友,看书,写作,运动,做志愿者,安静地沉思。猜猜看,这些事情中哪些要花费大笔的钞票?接着往下看吧。
以人为本。这 个其实和上面一个观点相关联,但我私下认为,这一点更重要。如果你优先考虑某些事情—诸如小玩意,精致的家具,衣着,鞋子,珠宝等等—那么你可能得花大把 的钞票了。但要是你把人放在第一位—你最爱的那些人,亲近的朋友家人—那么,你什么都不需要耗费就能尽享人生之乐。花点时间拜访一下朋友、父母,和他们谈 谈心,不一定要上馆子吃一顿,或是看电影。你要做的,只是和他们坐一起,喝喝冰茶或热咖啡(看天气而定),大家聊聊天就够了。讲讲笑话,就足以让自己笑个 满怀;和他们讲讲自己看过的书,看过的电影,一些正在发生的新鲜事,和他们说说自己的期望和梦想,这已经是很幸福了。还要记得为自己的孩子和爱人留点时 间,和他们一起做些事情,并不一定要花钱。(你看吧,跟家人和自己爱的人在一起,数以百计的方式和孩子一起分享快乐,有一半都不用花大钱。)
为自己留点时间。最好能保证每天每周给自己以独处的时间。这样能让你的生活更有意义,充满幸福感,而不是匆匆过活,没有时间思考,没有时间呼吸自由的空气,到最后都搞不清楚自己到底是怎么活的。想想看要怎么才能挤出时间,让自己独处。
有时候,稍稍挥霍一下。你 也大可不必老是“清贫苦守”—要是形成了被剥夺感可就不好了。为了防止那种情况发生,你可以偶尔给自己买点东西,要不就允许自己大吃一顿,那就更好了。我 个人很喜欢沾有黑巧克力或浆果的食品。冰淇淋和浆果都是我的最爱。当然不能过度,要学会从奢侈中尽情享受。如果你是真地花时间好好享用一顿大餐的话,根本 不需要花很多钱的。
记录自己的成功。你要怎样记录都没关系—你可以因为自己养成了新的简单或节俭的习惯而奖励自己金星,或绘制张大图表,依次记录自己逐渐减少的债务、不断增多的积蓄或投资。这种记录的方式不仅能给你以动力,还能让整个过程充满趣味呢。
奖励自己。为了让整个过程更有意思,每一次小小的成功都要好好庆祝!在通往成功的道路上,要不断地奖励自己(希望奖项不要太昂贵)--每天,每两天,每三天,每周,每两周,每三周,每个月……都可以庆祝,我想你应该明白我的意思了。
做志愿者。这可以说对我们家而言最有意义的事情了。事实上,我们从去年才开始的。但自从开始做志愿工作以来,我们就一直花时间以各种各样的方式去做。即便做志愿者不须花费一分一毫,却能给人以极大的满足感,这是用钱也买不到的。接着看下去吧。
活在当下。不 要老去想过去和未来的事情,只要想想自己现在正在做的就可以了。活在此刻!也许这听起来有点陈腐,但却是真正享受生活的真谛所在—而且还不用花钱哦!仔细 想想看吧—你花钱出去吃饭,但如果你没有真正品味你口中的食物,那么你也就丝毫享受不到其中的乐趣。但是,如果你虽然只是简单地做了些家常菜,但却认真品 味每一口,那么即便没花很多钱,你也享受到了人生的乐趣。还有呢!
放慢脚步。同样的,要是你匆匆向前跑去,根本就体会不了生活的美好。你有没有想过一周,一月,甚至一年,怎就一转而逝了呢?也许你在快行道上呆太久了。试着让自己慢下来,让一切不再那么紧张,而是变得更令人愉悦吧!车子开得慢点,饭吃得慢点,让生活的节奏慢一点吧!
学会买物美价廉的东西。你可以叫我是疯子,但我就是喜欢在旧货店买东西。在那里,你花一点点的钱,就能淘到很多好东西。杂货店大减价也是同样道理。要不你还可以找些免费的,或读读这本《20种方法教你买到免费和便宜的书》也行呐。